Monday and Thereafter
by GabrielleJeane
Summary: The relationships forged on that eventful Saturday have been forgotten about by the preps and the outcasts are left to pick up the pieces until a new girl arrives and an unlikely relationship is created between her and John that threatens the integrity of his hardened exterior. John Bender/OC.
1. Chapter 1

Monday came.

What did they really expect to happen anyway? Of course everything would be different once you were with your natural friends and the connections made in a time of loneliness and desperation would fade. That's what it was anyway; they had all been desperate for a reprieve from the stress of daily life that had proven too much for them to handle.

They had all wound up in detention hadn't they? They were cracking. The gleaming façade of nonchalance was wearing thin so it was obvious they couldn't handle life anymore; some more than others.

So out of that despair they had sought someone who would listen, someone who could relate. They had found each other but none of it was real.

Allison ran to the bathroom to find herself in midnight black eyeliner and a curtain of hair once Andy dismissed her as a 'freak.' Brian was oblivious to the harsh words Claire spewed about him to her friends once he had passed her and all this time John stood back watching it happen; his intuition had told him from the moment Claire had placed a soft kiss on his neck that this was a lie and it wouldn't last.

What they found in each other that Saturday was enough to tide them over until they found it again in someone else. But now that Monday had arrived it was time they all got real.

"Shit." Amanda muttered as she felt around in her pocket for a piece of gum. How could she be so stupid as to leave her cigarettes in her pocket? The rules clearly stated that if any tobacco was found on her person it was an immediate Saturday detention and a write up.

First day in a new school, in the middle of the year mind you, and she had already broken a cardinal rule.

'Just don't think about them.' She told herself as she grabbed the door handle to English and yanked it open to reveal an entirely full up classroom. Stopping dead in her tracks from lack of an obvious place to sit she stood and stared at the twenty plus faces that looked at her with equal confusion.

"Amanda?" The teacher asked. She turned her head and nodded slowly at the teacher who had been writing on the board.

"Yeah." She responded hesitantly. Remembering the piece of paper in her pocket she had to have all the teachers' sign she reached into her jacket and pulled it out. The teacher, Mr. Swanson, took it and went to sign it on the level top of his desk. Sitting on the mustard colored chair he lifted it and made to hand it to her without even looking up from the book he had opened.

"Go on and take a seat." He told her. She turned her head and surveyed the severe lack of space.

"Where?" she asked.

"It doesn't matter." He waved his hand at her, dismissing her concern. She sighed and walked down the middle of the aisle. There were five rows of long tables on each side that sat about five and not a single inch was open. Every person who happened to make eye contact with her sneered and shifted away as though she were harboring a contagious disease.

'Maybe it's an Illinois thing to be rude.' Amanda thought to herself. She continued to slowly peruse the aisles until a leather clad hand shot up in the back of the class and waved for her to come back. Without hesitation she sped up back to where the person whom beckoned her sat.

He sat a double wide table that had one shorter leg so it looked cockeyed. His leg was resting nonchalantly on its surface and he was twirling a match between his fingers. He turned his head and gave her a slow onceover as she stood stock still before him. His long hair flared out slightly at the end and he had a small light streak in the very front of it. The side of his mouth crooked slightly, flashing a few white teeth and making her heart beat just a little faster.

"Sit." He commanded. She promptly took the seat immediately to his right and exhaled in relief as the teacher started the lecture.

"I'm Amanda." She offered her hand to him but he just looked at it.

"I heard." He responded shortly. Maybe it was an Illinois thing…

"What's your name?" she continued after a few minutes of silence. He turned his head and gave her an exasperated look.

"What are we in Elementary school? Gonna tell me your favorite color too? Why not tell me your best talent while you're at it?" He sneered. Unable to believe the sheer rudeness of what he was saying she sat there staring, dumbfounded, "Able to sing the alphabet backwards? Name the fifty states?" she shook her head. Yanking his foot off the table he turned and leaned in so he could grab the seat of her chair and wrench her in close and whisper against her ear, "Or can you do something FAR more useful like… tie a cherry stem into a knot with your tongue? Because THAT is a talent I'd be interested in hearing about." The smell of tobacco and Colgate wafted around her as he held his position close.

Hearing him chuckle he shoved her seat back and returned to his previous position. Feeling thoroughly shaken up, Amanda leaned down and pulled a notebook and pencil from her bag.

"John." She heard him say as she was hovering over her backpack.

"What?" She whispered, sitting back up.

"My name is John." He said without looking at her. This garnered a little smile from her as she sat her notebook and pencil on the tabletop.

"I'm Amanda." She replied.

"We've already covered this for the third time and no, you're not," he turned his head and gave her a look of exasperation yet again, "You're Mandy." He told her.

Without missing a beat she smiled and said, "Well hi Johnny, nice to meet you."

'She's been at this school ten minutes and already she's fallen asleep,' John thought as he looked over at Mandy who was snoring and drooling against her notebook, 'Pathetic.' He thought. Reaching over he wrapped his hand around the back of her head and lifted it just enough to shove his flannel underneath it so she wouldn't have red spots on her cheekbones when she woke up.

'Maybe I was a little too harsh.' He thought. Brand new fresh meat and he's already groped her with his gaze and language. She was a little hard to miss as she walked in slowly, her eyes darting around the room like she was waiting for something to pop out and grab her. Sure she was pretty enough with short electric blonde hair and killer dark blue eyes but it's not like the slime balls at this school would make it easy on her anyway so he knew he had to take the initiative and at least give her some place to sit.

The fact that she took him up on his offer was shocking to say the least.

She groaned loudly and shifted around to get more comfortable. Half the class heard her groan and turned to look, including the teacher. John coughed and groaned to try and cover up the sound but it was no use; she shifted so much her large jacket pocket opened up and spilled a tube of lipstick, a paperclip and a pack of Marlboro 100's onto the floor.

'Fuck me standing.' John's mouth fell open in shock at the sight before him and the fact that the teacher stood and began to walk to the back table. John reached over and gave Mandy a shove to which she promptly snarled at him not to wake her. The teacher was sauntering closer and closer, his face showing a large dose of suspicion. John grabbed her shoulders and lifted her roughly and rubbed her back as though comforting her, his right foot shifted over and pulled the pack of smokes closer to him than to her.

"What is going on over here?" Mr. Swanson demanded. Mandy's eyes shot open and she looked to John for an answer.

"She felt sick." He prompted.

"What is that?" The teacher asked, pointing to the cigarettes beneath John's chair. Mandy grew noticeably nervous as she realized her pocket had spilled open and she had been found out. Opening her mouth to apologize, John squeezed her shoulder and interjected, "Cigarettes."

"And why are they in here?" Mr. Swanson snarled.

"What can I say?" John turned his head and smiled devilishly at Mandy, "breaking the rules gets me off." His smile faded away slowly and left him with an intense gleam in his eye that shot right through Mandy's chest.

"Go to the principal's office right now Bender!" The teacher screamed. John smiled and stood slowly, grabbing his jackets and bag. Mr. Swanson turned and walked back to the front of the classroom to fill out an incident report, leaving John alone with Mandy for just a second.

John shrugged his jacket on and set the bag back down on the table so he could reach over and grab the flannel Mandy had her hands on. Yanking it out, she recoiled and blinked, looking down at the ground. He smiled, shook out the material and set it over her shoulders.

"What are you doing?" She asked, finally looking back up at him.

"Making sure you keep warm; wouldn't want you to catch a cold," He smiled and hit her upper arm in faux encouragement, "see you in Chemistry Mandy." And with that he swooped down and placed a rough kiss on her cheek.


	2. Chapter 2

Hello darlings! Thank you for the liking what I've written! Let me know if you see anything that needs changing or you just want to say hi!

'These people are fucking weird…' Amanda thought as the teacher finished up lecture and the overhead bell rang, signaling the end of class. John had long since been removed from the classroom which had led to much discussion and nasty looks being thrown her way as though it were her fault he took the blame and had been removed.

'Why did he take the blame anyway?' she wondered, lifting her backpack and flinging it over her shoulders to rest on her back, 'and how the hell did he know I have chemistry next?' this day so far was nothing short of baffling. Nonetheless she pulled out her map that had all her classes color coordinated with a highlighter and made her way through the barrage of students until she came upon the Chemistry lab door.

It was a larger class with a line filing in the entryway; there were far more tables and yet far less places to sit. Everyone was fighting over a seat, practically shoving each other so they could either sit in the very front, sit in the very back or sit next to someone they presumably liked.

"Lovely…" she mumbled.

"Move!" She heard someone yell. Jumping slightly she stood on her tiptoes to try and locate where the sound came from. There was a slightly nerdy looking boy who was stumbling over himself to get out the way; his backpack had already been unloaded and he looked to have been settled into the seat in the far back of the classroom. Amanda broke through a wall of jocks and made her way to the back of the room where she found her only 'friend' snarling and glaring at people who tried to sit in the seat directly to his right.

"What are you doing?" Amanda asked once she reached him. John turned his head and shot her a snarky smile.

"Saving a seat for you of course." He drawled, grabbing the chair and yanking it out.

"You could be nicer about it…" She mumbled. The boy he had bullied out of his seat was now wandering around aimlessly looking for another place to sit. She looked back and shot John a nasty look and, grabbing the stool, walked back to an empty table with no chairs. Grabbing the wandering kid by the scruff of his shirt she sat the stool down and patted it for him to sit. The kid thanked her copiously and took the seat. She went and grabbed a shorter stool that looked to be on its last legs as far as integrity went and plopped down next to the kid.

"What's your name?" She asked. The kid looked at her like she was crazy.

"Kevin." He responded hesitantly.

"Hi Kevin I'm Amanda." She offered her hand and he smiled.

"Nice to meet you," he took her hand and shook it slowly, "but you do know what you just did right?" he asked.

"I gave you a place to sit after that jerk kicked out of your seat." She glanced up at John who was sitting across the room just staring at them. The fury was palpable in his gaze but there was something akin to curiosity in his eyes.

"Yeah but that's John." The kid muttered as though he were talking about a godlike figure.

"So? He's just another guy."

"You'd be surprised." The kid turned his head and looked at John whose gaze only faltered from Amanda in order to shoot Kevin a look of venom. She rolled her eyes and pulled out her notebook, determined to take better notes and have a better class period than last time.

Lecture started and Kevin immediately began writing every word the teacher said; diagraming every example and even pulling out a cassette recorder so as not to miss any piece of information.

"Can I copy your notes? I don't write as fast as you." Amanda laughed when the teacher left the room to retrieve a piece of lab equipment he had forgotten. Kevin smiled and handed his notebook over. She immediately began copying the important bits and leaving out the excessively detailed diagrams when she felt something move her stool. Jerking her head up she looked at Kevin who was staring in her general direction with a look of horror on his face.

"What the…" she began but immediately stopped when her stool was lifted off the ground. She screamed slightly and made to grab her table but she was being carried away too quickly.

"Put me down!" she shouted, twisting around and swinging her arms to hit the person carrying her away. John smiled and dropped her stool on the ground in front of his table.

"That's better." He muttered and took his seat.

"What the fuck was that about?!" She shouted. By now everyone in the class was staring at the pair of them but John just flipped them the finger and leaned over to her.

"I wanted you to sit by me." He told her slowly. Her mouth fell open in shock and she simply stared at him; unable to believe what he just did.

"Well my stuff is over there." Was all she could come up with. He rolled his eyes and shoved himself away from the table to stand up and make his way over to where Kevin sat; still staring at John like he was petrified. John grabbed her notebook, pencil and backpack and brought them over, dropping them on the table in front of her.

"Thanks I guess." She mumbled, grabbing her things and pulling them closer.

"You're welcome." He responded, plopping back down on the stool.

"What is your deal anyway? I've only been here like an hour and a half and I've already been assaulted by you. I've only lived in this state for a day and I'm already getting on someone's bad side… I haven't even done anything." She trailed off much to his confusion.

"Assaulted?" he asked after a few moments of her sitting there wallowing.

"Is that all you took from that?" she nearly screeched, "what is it with you people here? Namely you! I've been minding my own business and I've gotten yelled at, picked up, tossed around… kissed…" she ran her hands through her hair in frustration, "what am I doing wrong?"

"Who said you're doing anything wrong?" she groaned and slammed her elbows down on the table, throwing her head into her hands and sighing. The teacher came back into the room and resumed the lesson much to John's dismay.

"Then why are you acting like this?!" Amanda snarled after a few minutes of sitting there. The teacher stopped what he was saying and stood on tiptoes to try and get a look at them in the back. John huffed and leaned forward, grabbing her arm and yanking her close to him.

"If you keep this up you're going to end up in detention with me Saturday." He whispered; hoping against all hope she'd listen but given the current pattern of her behavior he figured that was highly unlikely.

"Like I care! I just want to have a normal high school career for once," She mused loudly, "why me John?" she snarled, glaring at him. He sat there, wide eyed at her fiery temper and lack of a filter.

"I don't know." He answered honestly.

"Then stop being so pushy!" she growled. He was at a loss for words; no girl had ever spoken to him like this, no one had ever had the guts and the few girls who did talk to him ended up in his bed not long after. So far he'd been slammed with another detention for her, got chewed out by Vernon yet again for her and she hadn't even thanked him yet. It really was quite rude but at the same time he liked it; more than he should.

"Amanda and John; go to the principal's office." The teacher announced, suddenly right in front of them. Amanda's eyes widened and John's rolled.

"Again? That's twice today…" he smiled; entirely too used to the feeling. Amanda on the other hand was petrified.

"Sir please… this is my first day…" she muttered near tears. John stood and gathered up his stuff; shrugging his jacket on and throwing his bag over his shoulder. He went over and began packing her things, wrapping his flannel around her shoulders and lifting her by the arm as she continued to beg and plead.

"It's no use Mandy," John told her honestly and dragged her out of the room, "this guy's always been a hard ass."

"You'd do well to avoid him Ms. Mays." The teacher called out as right as the door to the classroom closed. John turned and stopped her, his hand coming up and wiping the tears from her cheeks. She was a good head shorter than him but he sort of liked that; there was a lot about this girl he liked. Maybe he was just rebounding from Claire… but it didn't feel like that. He knew better than to develop feelings for anyone but this seemed unavoidable.

All the same he'd just end up hurting like everyone else.

"He's right," John muttered, "you should stay away from me." As much as he wanted to reach out and befriend her he knew it was a moot point; no matter the case he ended up crushing someone's feelings or his own got destroyed so why even bother. Dropping his hand he turned and walked away from her as quickly as possible.

"Fine then John! I WILL stay away if you're just gonna walk away from me like that!" she shouted at him. He growled and turned to stalk back towards her; the anger in his eyes making her back up against the wall.

"What the fuck are you playing at? Huh? I'm trying to help you and you're refusing it then you get mad at me when I let you have your way and attempt to leave you alone! Get your shit straight; you've only been here a few hours and you've already created a mess," He snarled. She whimpered and lifted her hand to smack him but he grabbed her wrist and pinned it against the wall, she whipped her other hand out to try and get him to release her but he just grabbed her other wrist and had her pinned against the brick, "no amount of smacking me will help you now, we gotten too close sweetheart. You're mine." He whispered silkily. Amanda felt her insides liquefying at the intense gleam in his eyes.

Grinding her teeth she nailed him with a glare, "Fuck you John."

"I knew you loved me" He smiled; returning to what she presumed to be his usual joking self, "now let's go get in trouble." He released her and led the way straight to Vernon's office.


	3. Chapter 3

"The first day of school and already you're visiting me here." Vernon smirked. Amanda sucked in a shaky breath and held back a sob; making John roll his eyes and lean forward.

"Look Dick," He started, smiling, "can we just get this over with? She feels bad enough as it is. Why not just punish me and leave her out of it all together?" Vernon shot him a disgusted look, grabbing the edge of a folder he whipped it open and looked down for a few moments before looking back up and smiling smarmily at Amanda.

"This is your fifth school in three years. The last few you've gotten kicked out of because you were causing trouble? Given the current pattern I would feel comfortable saying this is going to end up the exact same way," He laughed, "but we've got to start off at the beginning; you'll be in detention this Saturday with this loser here." John clenched his fist and sat back, trying to play it off like there was nothing wrong but judging by his body language Amanda could tell this was really bothering him.

"Look Sir I'm truly sorry. John and I got into a disagreement and I took it too far by yelling. It won't happen again…" she took a shaky breath and looked down at the floor, "but I can't be here on Saturday. I have to work." She whispered as though she were ashamed.

"If you don't show up you're expelled. That's the only thing that's kept him here," Vernon jabbed his finger in John's direction, "he keeps showing up to detention so I can't expel him." he said in a way that hinted it really burned him, not being able to kick John out.

"Sir please." She begged. John hated seeing anyone beg but hell if he'd show that it bothered him.

"Mandy…" he whispered, reaching over and grabbing her hand. She sighed and sunk even further down in her chair. Much to John's surprise she took his offer and held his hand tightly. Vernon's glare shot down to their clasped hands and back up to John's eyes.

"Ms. May I hope you reconsider whom you decide to spend your time with," Vernon smirked at John, "I want every student to be successful but those who decide to… consort with other students of his caliber are bound to fail. So hopefully this Saturday will knock some sense into you." He slammed the folder closed and opened a desk drawer to shove it inside. It took everything John had not to come back with something equally scathing but he knew for a fact it would negatively impact Mandy if he did so he refrained.

"Okay." She gave up and nodded, releasing John's hand hesitantly.

"Alright, John; add another Saturday to your long list." Vernon pulled out a piece of paper and motioned for them to leave. John shot out of his seat, grabbed his bag and made his way to the door quickly whereas Amanda took her time.

"Oh and Ms. Mays," Vernon called out right as they were at the door, both of them turned and looked, "I hope that the only interaction between the two of you will be at school and not… elsewhere." He smirked and Amanda had to consciously keep herself from shivering at the creepy image he was painting. The fact that he would imply such a thing was outrageous and inappropriate.

"You son of a…" John began, his hand grabbing Amanda's shoulder to move her but she stayed rooted exactly where she was. She gave John a glare and pressed her hands to his chest.

"John don't." She pleaded. She pushed him slightly as to get her point across and John looked down at her. His eyes softened slightly and he grunted, covering her right hand with his he wrapped his fingers around it and led her from the room.

They stopped just outside of the door to Vernon's office. John slammed his back against the wall and ran his hands through his long hair. Amanda slid down the wall to sit on the floor and let out a small sob.

"Why do you keep crying?" John demanded looking down at her.

"Because… I'm consciously trying to have a better school year and things out of my control are fucking it up like you!" she shouted at him. He reached down and grabbed her arm, hauling her up and walked across the hall with her in tow and opened the library door. Glancing inside he saw it was empty and pulled her in with him.

"Remember what happened last time you screamed at me?" he chuckled. She rolled her eyes and walked over to a cushioned bench; plopping down she threw her backpack towards John who backed up a few feet to avoid it.

"I would appreciate you respecting my desire not to get into trouble. I know you get off on being bad but I don't." He smiled widely at this. Amanda's breath stopped when she saw his full-fledged smile for the first time. Before now it had just been smirks but this time his stunningly white teeth were on full display. It was rather heart stopping when he dropped his 'I don't give two shits' front and looked happy.

'What would it be like to kiss him? Would he be gentle and sweet or rough and demanding?' Amanda caught herself wondering and immediately stopped.

Hell if it wasn't tempting to find out though.

"You're staring." He sat next to her and smiled harder.

"No I'm not." She denied, looking down. He reached out and grabbed her chin, turning her head so he could look in her eyes.

"I'm sorry I upset you." He told her gently. Her eyes darted down to his lips momentarily and he couldn't help but smile at her brazenness.

"Want to find out?" he offered.

"Find out what?" she played oblivious but he knew exactly what she was thinking which led him to wonder.

"Have you ever kissed someone?" he asked, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. Usually he'd go straight for the kill and ask if she was a virgin but for some reason he wanted to take this one slower.

"What?" she asked, feigning shock.

"Come on Mandy, just answer the question. It's not like we're ten." She rolled her eyes and looked up at the ceiling.

"Trust you to make it awkward." She whispered. Suddenly she felt his hand grab her jaw, not just her chin this time. He jerked her head down and immediately smashed his lips against hers. She let out a sound of surprise but did nothing to stop him. His lips were soft yet demanding at the same time; his tongue snaked its way inside her mouth, feeling around and playing with hers. He released her jaw and cradled the back of her head gently, his other hand grabbing her waist pulling her closer so she was pressed tightly against him. Amanda lifted her hands and fisted his jacket in them; half fighting him half pulling him closer. He tasted like cigarettes and Colgate, much like how he smelled. While it was a strange taste she immediately felt comforted in it seeing as how it was uniquely him. He let out at harsh growl and pressed against her harder; his mouth devouring hers until she pulled back to suck in air. Her nerves were tingling wildly, her heart was beating out of control and he looked like it was nothing surprising to him.

They sat breathing heavily, staring at each other: John entirely too proud of what he did and Amanda shocked, baffled, intrigued and scared all at the same time.

"So? Have you?" he asked. She shook her head 'no' and bit her swollen bottom lip in embarrassment, "now you have. See you Saturday Mandy." John stood and grabbed his bag which he had sat on the floor. Amanda looked up at him in shock; he was just going to leave her like this?

Before walking away he swooped down to place one last gentle kiss on her lips and smile at her.

"Screw you for leaving me like this." She whispered once his lips left hers.

"Love you too baby." He laughed and walked out.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello my darlings! Thank you so very very much for the reading and reviewing (it makes things go much faster when I receive such positive encouragement.) I'm sorry this is later than the previous chapters but alas, work is kicking my butt. Things to bear in mind with this chapter, if you shall all recall in the movie John was a bit of a jerk so I want to keep true to that and in this chapter it comes out. But don't you worry! While yes, this chapter is a little darker than the other ones, it gets better :) Keep up the awesome reviews!  
**

**Friday Night **

Amanda groaned as she saw the packed diner. She knew her graveyard shift was going to be miserable seeing as how it was Friday night and she had detention in the morning. Tying the apron around her waist she nudged the glass door open with her hip.

"Hey guys how's it going?" she walked behind the bar and pulled out two coffee mugs. The truckers grunted and tipped their caps in greeting. Pouring coffee into the two mugs she shoved them over to two of the men and pulled out to plastic covered menus; also handing those over.

"Might I suggest the blueberry pie; made it myself last night," She smiled and walked back to the kitchen where the one nightshift cook, Barry, was working on a cheese steak, "how are you Berry?"

"Hey baby girl! I'm doin' just fine sweetie pie. Am I gonna be blessed with your presence this fine evening?" Amanda smiled and nodded, grabbing a pad of paper and a pen and shoving them into the pocket of her apron, "honey I tell ya, the uniforms get shorter every year." Barry smirked and wagged his eyebrows. Amanda looked down and groaned at just how short the blue dress really was.

Grabbing a tub she walked out of the kitchen to collect the little bowls that held creamers at each table. Dropping them into the tub she smiled at each customer and took a few orders from those who were ready. The previous shift was getting themselves ready to leave; delivering their final orders and briefing her on who was who and what they wanted. Amanda listened intently and went to help those people whom had just walked in or hadn't been helped yet; the result was ten orders all for one cook.

'They really need to hire more night staff.' They were the only diner outside of actual Chicago that was open 24/7 and as a result they were constantly busy with truck drivers and druggies leaving the city.

"Hey Amanda." She looked up to see Carl, a nightly regular, waving at her.

"Hey Carl, you look good." Amanda walked over to him and wrapped her arm around her shoulders, giving him a hug. He'd show up around five, the middle of her usual shift, and stick around until the middle of the night staff's shift.

"I've been checking up at the clinic." He smiled proudly.

"How are you feeling?" From what he's told her and what she's heard he'd been battling heroin addiction for ten years.

"I'm feeling great!" he beamed at her. She smiled and rubbed his big shoulder.

"That's good honey." She promised to return and refill his coffee before walked back behind the bar. Pulling the little dishes out she began doling out cream until Berry came out of the kitchen and set a few plates out food out in front of some truckers.

"Lord here we go again." He leaned against the bar and shook his head as the front door opened and closed.

"What?" Amanda asked, still looking down at the creamers.

"Another regular; every time after he gets into a fight with his old man he shows up here. Sometimes he's all banged up, sometimes his finger's broken… we never know what to expect so we just prepare a bowl of tomato soup and some crackers. Lord knows he never orders anything else." Barry told her, half talking to himself. Amanda just shrugged and re-loaded the now full dishes into the bin and grabbed a pot of fresh coffee

Walking to each and every table she placed a dish on its surface and refilled coffee where it was needed until she came upon the last table nearest the window. Looking down at the little bowls she took one out, pushed it to the end of the table near the wall and yanked a menu out of its holder and placed it on the table in front of the man who was holding his right hand tightly.

"What can I get started for you?" Amanda asked, finally setting the bin down at looking up.

What she saw made her jump and scream.

"John!" She shouted. He smiled and gave a breathy chuckle.

"Hey Mandy." He whispered.

"Where were you… what's wrong?" she demanded, looking down at his hand that was coated in blood, "what happened? We need to get you to a hospital!" she reached over and grabbed the cloth napkin sitting across from him, dumped out the silverware that had been tucked in it and sat next to him.

"I'll be fine." He told her. She reached out and unwound his fingers to reveal and large but not deep gash. Pressing the cloth into it she looked up at him confusedly.

"What happened to you?" she asked, reaching up and tucking a stray chunk of hair behind his ear. His face was coated in sweat from what she presumed to have been a fight and his right eye was beginning to redden and swell.

"Nothing you need to worry about." He reprimanded her, ripping his hand away and tying the cloth around the cut.

"You must be the regular." She thought out loud. He whipped his head around to glare at her.

"The what?" he snarled.

"I just heard you usually come in whenever you get into a fight with… your dad," She hesitated, "he did this to you?"

"Well if I'm such a nuisance I can leave." He ignored her question and made to push her out of the way but she shoved him back against the cushioning.

"Oh cut the bullshit John. I just want to help you and you're blowing it way out of proportion." He sat there glaring at her, not speaking a single word. He looked like hell; wearing nothing but a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt his arms were covered in what looked like engine oil. It was definitely too cold outside not to be wearing a jacket.

"We need to go wash you up." She told him. Standing up she grabbed his arm and yanked him out of the booth as best she could and led them back to the kitchen.

"Barry do we have any soap? Any better than that piss poor shit in the bathroom?" Barry tossed her a bottle of dish soap and shook his head at the two of them. Amanda ignored him and walked back to the employee bathroom, shoving John inside she followed and closed the door.

"If you wanted to get my alone you could have just said so." John smirked and grabbed her by the waist. Dropping the soap in the sink she slapped at his arm and glared at him. He ignored her and leaned down to place a soft kiss on her lips and, despite her current state of panic, Amanda found herself tingling from excitement until she realized it wasn't the usual Colgate she tasted on him but liquor.

Yanking herself back she wiped at her mouth and gasped, "What the fuck John?" she shouted. He simply smiled and sat down on the toilet. She turned and yanked the faucet on until the water was nearly scalding then she grabbed a hand towel and ran it under the water until it was soaked. Pulling the brand new top of the soap up with her teeth she doused the cloth with soap and lathered it.

Turning back to John she grabbed his arms and extended them out so she could scrub them clean. The sink was eventually covered in black grease while his arms and hands were completely clean.

"Want to tell me what happened?" she asked as she grabbed a first aid kit out from under the sink.

"There's nothing to tell." He was clearly inebriated but she ignored that and prodded further.

"You and I both know that's a crock of shit so just fess up." She pulled out a roll of gauze, tape, alcohol and antibacterial ointment.

"I took some of his beer." Was all he said.

"Some? Like one or two?" she asked, disbelieving. He shook his head and exhaled shakily.

"Like ten." He eventually gave up.

"Ten beers? What did he do exactly?" he shrugged and looked down at her working on his hand. She reached over and grabbed his unaffected hand and placed it on her shoulder, telling him to squeeze because this would hurt. She then poured a good half bottle of alcohol on the cut and waited for him to hiss and squeeze her shoulder but he didn't even flinch. Grabbing the gauze she squeezed some out onto it and pressed it into the cut, rolling the rest of it around his hand until she had run out and had to secure it with the tape.

"I was working on my car and he came up to me yelling about it," she released his hand and he sat back, "'where the fuck is it Johnny?' was what he was saying. Naturally I played innocent and he grabbed the tire iron and whacked me in the face with it." Amanda looked up at his cheekbone and saw it was turning purple now.

"You should go to the hospital. It might be broken." He shook his head.

"I know broken bone enough to know it's not broken. He was so drunk he couldn't even swing that hard. So after he hit me with that I stood and shoved him, he fell and grabbed a knife I had been using. He stood and jabbed the knife at me so I blocked it," He looked down at his wrapped hand and laughed, "you know if I'd have known you worked here I'd have never come in." he confessed.

She ignored that and returned the kit back to its place underneath the sink.

"Come on, I've got to get back to work." She stood and opened the door for him. He eventually stood and walked out of the bathroom.

By the time midnight rolled around there was only John, Carl and two other truck drivers in the diner. Amanda had swept, mopped, restocked the bar and cleaned the windows. John was sitting at the same booth with a cup of coffee and strangely enough a newspaper in his hands. He hadn't spoken much tonight except for a few thank you's and a few greetings to some people who'd come and gone; hopefully he'd worked off the liquor.

It had become so dull in here Amanda had resigned herself to polishing the glasses until they shined.

"Amanda?" she heard Carl call out.

"Yeah honey?" she responded, still focusing on one glass in particular that wouldn't clean up the way she wanted it to.

"Can I get some more coffee?" he asked.

"Sure, be right there." she set the glass down and grabbed the pot of coffee that needed to be freshened up and walked over to where Carl sat. His knee was bouncing and he looked a little jittery so she refill the cup and set the pot down. Wrapping her arm around his shoulders she held him and muttered, "It'll be okay, you're doing so good Carl. I'm so proud of you." He smiled and took some shaky breaths, his arm going around her waist to hold her close. She felt tears prick the back of her eyes at his struggle but held strong.

His shaking was dying down slightly when Amanda felt a hand grab her shoulder and yank her back. John grabbed Carl by the collar of his shirt and swung his fist at his face. Amanda shouted for him to stop but John just kept punching him repeatedly.

"John what the fuck are you doing?!" she shouted. He turned and growled at her angrily.

"What the fuck are you doing letting him hold you like that?!" he demanded.

"We are just friends John! Knock it off!" she screamed. John reached down and pulled a switchblade from his pocket, flicking it open he held it up so Carl could see it.

"Touch my girl one more time and I won't hesitate to kill you." He snarled and gave Carl one last look before releasing him and storming over to his table where he grabbed a few napkins to wipe the blood from his hands and walked out the front door. Amanda took off after him and swung the door open to see him making his way down the road.

"What was that?!" she screamed at him once she finally caught up to him.

"Leave me alone Mandy." He warned her.

"I don't fucking get you! You haven't been at school all week and the first time we see each other after what happened Monday you beat the shit out of the first guy I talk to!" she grabbed his arm and pulled him to a stop, "you know I don't know much about your home life but I can hazard a guess that you're acting just like your father." His face fell and his breathing stopped. When Amanda realized what she'd just said her breathing stopped to. She watched John cautiously as his face slowly contorted in rage and he grabbed her by the arm, shoving her against the brick wall of a building.

"What did you just say?" he demanded, praying to god he didn't hear her right but he knew he did.

"Just forget it John." She whispered.

"Forget it?!" he shouted inches from her face, "fuck you Amanda! You don't know shit about me or my father! If I was him I'd have landed you unconscious right now!" he screamed at her. She flinched and turned her face away from him.

"You're not doing much better!" she muttered. He released her and backed away slowly, staring at her like he didn't even know her.

"Fuck you Amanda." He snarled and took off. Amanda stood there shaking and wondering what the hell just happened.


	5. Chapter 5

"Aw shit…" Amanda muttered when she looked down and saw blood on her dress, "just my fucking luck…" throwing her hands up she groaned and continued walking down the street. It was probably Carl's blood from his cut lip that John had given him.

It had taken everything she had to keep Carl from calling the cops on John.

_"What the fuck was that about?!" Carl demanded right as she walked in. Amanda shook her head and shrugged, "Well I'm calling the police!" he declared, shooting up from his seat he made a beeline for the phone but Amanda beat him to it and grabbed it off the hook._

_ "No you're not." She told him sternly. _

_ "Like hell I'm not! Your prick of a boyfriend assaulted me!" he shouted at here. _

_ "One, he's not my boyfriend. Two, if you don't want him to come back stop yelling and three, what do you think the police would do huh? They'd come and probably end up taking YOU in for the outstanding warrant they never did catch you for!" _

He eventually calmed down after that outburst but it took a whole lot of cleaning and coaxing to get him to simmer down and leave around three. John hadn't shown back up to apologize or anything but what would you expect? The rest of her shift went as well as it could have given how it started and now she was on her way to serve her sentence for, hopefully, the first and last time.

So as not to be late she had pulled on a pair of black skinny jeans at work and left still in her short dress but as it was it still wasn't enough to ward off the icy winds that went whipping by her.

In front of the school there were three cars with, presumably, students in them.

'Well at least it won't be just me and John.' She thought to herself as she passed a baby blue car that was depositing a girl with long black hair and thick black eyeliner. Ignoring the smug look on Vernon's face she ambled up the steps and into the front door. Making a beeline for the library so she could sit and rest she bypassed one other student just standing in front of the doors.

"Aren't you going in?" she asked the boy who reminded her of John. He was about five inches shorter than him but he wore his hair similarly and wore similar clothing to what she imagined she would find John in.

'Can't talk to him I guess… lest I upset the diva.' She smiled at her snarky comment and tugged the doors open to reveal an eerily empty library. Shrugging off the oppressive silence she made her way for the nearest table and chair. She ended up sitting at the very front table on the right which had a strange wooden covering so you couldn't see the legs of it.

Throwing her bag onto its surface she rounded its corner and flopped down onto the meager padding of the chair furthest from the aisle that, in any other situation would be uncomfortable, felt blissful. Resting her legs after a hard shift was the closest to heaven she'd ever felt; especially now after that hellish night last night.

The John looking kid came ambling through and took his seat at the table directly behind her; after him followed a few other kids, the girl with the eyeliner, a nerdy boy and a bookish girl with extremely long mousy brown hair. Giving them all a brief once over she noted the eyeliner girl held her bag tightly against her chest and wore painfully dirty converse. The John look-a-like strangely enough had a baseball patch with the schools emblem emblazoned upon it that would indicated he played for the schools team. The mousy girl wore a cross around her neck and was carrying a stack of various Christian themed books.

And then John walked in.

Amanda groaned when he whipped the doors open so forcefully they banged against the wall leaving scuff marks in their wake. He wore his usual sunglasses and leather gloves sans fingers. Today's clothing selection consisted of a plain black t-shirt, a pair of old blue jeans, the usual boots with a red bandana tied around them, a blue flannel and a short leather jacket.

'Can you look any more like a degenerate?' Amanda mused and felt immediately guilty. He looked fucking hot and she knew it; she just didn't want to admit it seeing how he acted last night.

Much to her surprise he stopped at the front table next to hers and took the chair nearest the 'aisle' between the tables. The eyeliner girl sat at the back right table and the mousy girl sat at the back left table.

"Hey Allison." John stood and removed his leather jacket, setting it on the table he walked back to eyeliner girl and hit her table in greeting. She grunted a hello and they talked lowly. Amanda turned and looked back to see him sitting next to her chatting about lord only knows what and felt a pang of jealousy shoot through her when he smiled and laughed at something she said. His laughter was that deep bone rattling sort of chuckle she wished she'd been able to emit from him except the last thing he'd given her was a 'fuck you.'

'Remember that next time you start to miss him looking at you like that.' She told herself. He wasn't hers and she certainly didn't want him to be so she'd do right to remember what an asshole he'd been to her.

"Get back to your chair Bender!" She heard Vernon shout. She twisted back around to see him standing there staring at them like they were vermin. Rolling her eyes she leaned back in her seat right as John took his again. Vernon began with some sort of a lecture about who they think they are and what they can do to improve to which John snickered.

"So here are the rules," Vernon began walking down the aisle, "no sleeping," he banged on Amanda's table and wrenched John's feet from his table, "no moving and no horsing around. Got it?" a few of them muttered a 'yes' and Vernon seemed pleased. He assured them that while the door across from his office would be closed due to 'technical difficulties', to which John laughed out loud, he would be listening intently for any sort of 'screwing around.'

"So rest assured, I hear everything." He warned before making his way to the door and leaving them in a sort of peace.

Amanda let her head fall back in relief at his absence when she heard the chair next to her move. Jerking her head up she turned it to see John sitting right next to her, his glasses were sitting back on his table and his blackened cheekbone was on full display. He reached out and grabbed her chair; twisting it he yanked her forward between his legs. Resting his hands on the edges of the seat he leaned forward so their noses were inches apart. Amanda held her breath at the overpowering scent of Colgate and cigarettes that made her heart skip a beat. She wanted to badly to relive that heartbreaking kiss they'd shared but he didn't look to be in any mood to snog.

He looked furious.

"Don't think we are over baby. Like I said before," he reached up and grabbed her jaw. Angling her head he ran his lips from below her ear down her neck to the junction where her neck met her shoulder; places a few light kisses as he went making her clench her fists as heat tore through her. He nipped harshly at the sensitive skin there then laved the wound with his tongue, "You're mine and I don't give up that easily."


	6. Chapter 6

Amanda let out a breathy moan as he placed a final kiss on her small bite mark. John stiffened and groaned, his eyes widening he fisted his hand that was now resting on her thigh. He moved his mouth up to her ear and nibbled on it lightly.

"I've wanted to make you moan since the moment I met you," John whispered, "but that's only one thing I want to do to you." Amanda's heart stilled when he muttered this hotly in her ear. He shoved himself away from her so fast her head spun and stood, adjusting his pants inconspicuously.

Walking towards the front of the library he messed with a few papers lying on some of the tables and whistled to himself in boredom.

"So what do you shitheads want to do today?" he announced, turning around and hoisting himself onto the railing, "Since that door is already closed it's only a matter of deciding what we'll do." He pointed to the door Vernon threatened to watch. Amanda turned her head and looked at the other students; Allison sat there looking at John through a curtain of black hair, the John look a-like looked bored and bible girl looked shocked.

"I've got an idea!" John suddenly declared, making a few of them jump, "I've wanted to get into Mandy's pants for quite some time so let's get that underway." He wagged his eyebrows and winked to which Amanda just rolled her eyes.

"Can't you just leave us alone?" Bible girl surprisingly piped up, making them all turn and look at her.

"Excuse me sweetie?" John asked acidly. The girl slammed her book shut and began fiddling with her hair.

"I for one don't care to sit here listening to you talk about 'getting into' anyone's pants." She muttered. John shoved himself off the railing and slowly sauntered over to where she sat. Placing his hands on the table he leaned forward and glared at her.

"Then don't listen." He snarled and flicked the cross on her neck. Amanda shot out of her chair and rushed over to where they stood, hoping to diffuse the tense situation that had popped out no nowhere.

"John lets go, bible girl get that stick out of your ass." Amanda demanded.

"I have a name you know!" she spat at Amanda who was trying to no avail to pry John from his position.

"Whatever." Amanda muttered.

"It's Karen." She continued almost as though she hadn't heard her. Amanda finally yanked John away mid-cursing and walked him over to a couch where she pushed him down and sat next to him.

"You're so hotheaded sometimes." Amanda muttered. John reached over and grabbed her hand.

"I can't stand religious bitches like her." He said hotly.

"And I'm sure she can't stand stuck up outcasts like you either," She told him matter-of- factly to which he turned his head and looked at her wide eyed, "how's your eye doing?" she asked in an attempt to focus his attention on other things and not Karen who was sitting back their going on about sinning.

"Fine." He responded curtly.

"You know something? How the hell do you expect us to get anywhere if you keep closing yourself off like this?" Amanda questioned. He shrugged and held her hand against his chest.

"What exactly do you want to know?" he asked after a few moments.

"Anything. Tell me anything about you because as it stands all I know is that your dad is an abusive prick and we have two classes together." He laughed and ran his free hand through his hair.

"Well my mom is a self-serving subservient bitch. I was born and raised here in Chicago and I have a dog. What about you?" he sounded almost vulnerable, like he'd never told anyone those few tidbits of information.

"My mom is… interesting. I don't know my dad, I was born in Los Angeles and I don't have any pets. We move too much to have an animal." Hell, she felt slightly vulnerable too.

"Where've you lived?" he prodded. Adjusting herself so she leaned against the back of the sofa she prepared herself for a coming to Jesus talk.

"Well L.A for one, Phoenix, Las Vegas, Detroit, New York City and here."

"Wow." He looked shocked.

"What?"

"That's a lot of moving." He muttered.

"Well my mom can't hold a job for very long in any place so we've always moved around." Amanda shrugged and watched him begin to stroke her hand with his thumb.

"What does she do?" Amanda shifted uncomfortably.

"Nothing important; what does your dad do?" she tried to switch the conversation around to him.

"He's technically a mechanic but he mostly drinks. My mom is a waitress at IHOP," he slid down in the seat slightly to make himself more comfortable, "tell me more about you."

"There's nothing else to tell." She really didn't feel like providing more personal information to him; it was all embarrassing. John released her hand and pulled out a pack of smokes.

"Wanna see something cool?" he seemed to finally be over that mishap with Karen seeing as how he was now smiling.

"Sure." Amanda shrugged. He pulled out a small box of matched from his flannel pocket and took one out.

"You gotta show me a talent of yours after this." He told her. Amanda laughed slightly and watched as he placed a match in his mouth behind his teeth and snapped it forward, making a flame burst to life on its tip. Sitting there just staring at him he placed a cigarette in his mouth and lit it.

"So?" he looked a little shocked at her lack of awe.

"That was… sexy." There was no other word to describe the sensations coursing through her; it felt dangerous, like something your typical bad boy could do. He pulled the cigarette out of his mouth and grabbed her hand, yanking her onto his lap he pulled her forward so she was pressed against him. Shoving his face into her neck he kissed it and groaned.

"That was the dirtiest thing you've ever said to me" He laughed and continued to kiss her. Amanda shuttered and held onto his shoulders; unable to handle the myriad of emotions and sensations going through her, "I want to hear more." He kissed up her neck to nibble on her ear much like he'd just done ten minutes ago.

Amanda giggled; unable to picture herself talking dirty to a boy she'd just barely gotten to know. He pulled back and stared at her.

"I want to know one more thing about you." He told her, making her instantly uncomfortable.

"What's that?" she asked.

"How do you feel about me?" at this moment he looked at her like her response could make or break this whole thing they had going for them which, in reality, it could.

"Honestly?" she asked, he nodded and looked more nervous, "I like you. A lot more than I have any right to." His face stayed stoic and he gently ashed his cigarette on the carpet, reached up and grabbed the sides of her face, pulling her forward to place his lips on hers. Amanda moaned when his tongue gently touched hers, her nerves were on fire when he groaned and stood, his hands moving from her face to her legs to hold her against him. Their lips stayed connected as he walked them into the rows of bookshelves and slammed her back against a pillar. Flicking his cigarette from his fingers he grabbed her hands and held them above her head. Breaking their kiss he moved to her cheek then jaw, placing small kisses as he went. Amanda moaned more heavily when he nipped at her over sensitized skin.

"I like you too Mandy; a lot more than a should. A lot more than is good for you," He muttered harshly, angling his hips and pressing his obvious erection against her, "I'm so sorry about last night."

"It's okay. Everything will be okay." She told him. He pulled away and stared at her.

"You don't know how much I want you." He told her point blank. A blush flooded her cheeks and she smiled at him.

"I can see that," She giggled, "I'm a virgin though." She suddenly got nervous at the prospect.

"Fuck…" he groaned and rested his head against the wall, "that makes me happier than it should." Amanda laughed nervously and watched him.

"Well I'm glad." She smiled, unsure of what else she could say. He pulled his head back and looked at her.

"If it were anyone else I wouldn't hesitate to change that but… it's you, not some other girl."

"Have you been with other girls?" Amanda asked.

"Yeah. I'm gonna just be honest… yeah I have," He felt a little scared to say that but she looked unfazed. She looked like she was about to cry suddenly, "Shit, what did I say?" he backpedaled immediately.

"Nothing." She muttered. He released her hands and she grabbed onto his shoulders, burying her face in his neck.

"Then why are you crying?" he asked, confused.

"How the hell am I supposed to compare to them?" she whimpered. John couldn't help but laugh, hard. He pulled her away from the wall and wrapped his arms around her, still laughing painfully hard. Kissing her temple he rubbed her hair.

"Mandy, you have no clue how much I really really like you."


	7. Chapter 7

"Who needs to go to the bathroom?" Vernon entered the library and called out just moments after they had returned to their seats. Karen had ignored them haughtily while the other two students seemed completely oblivious. They all raised their hands and stood.

Amanda stood at the sink and rinsed her face, looking in the mirror she gently touched her swollen lips and smiled. Yanking a paper towel out of its holder she rubbed her face until it was completely dry and jumped when she removed the towel and saw Allison standing right before her looking as brooding as ever.

"What did you do to John?" she demanded before even saying hi.

"What?" Amanda couldn't form a coherent answer to her sudden question.

"He's never acted like this; not even with Claire." She told her honestly.

"Who's Claire?" Amanda felt a small burn of dread in the pit of her stomach. Things could never be clear cut and easy could they?

"She was in detention with us last Saturday. She kissed John." The thought of coming into contact with one of John's previous flings made her sick to her stomach.

"Okay?" she feigned non-chalance.

"But he didn't act this way with her," she continued, walking around Amanda and to the sink, "they fought most of the day; he even called her a bitch. Next thing you know, kissing." She shrugged.

"What does this have to do with me?" Amanda inquired.

"I just want to know what makes you so different; why he's changed so completely." Allison shut the water off and grabbed a few paper towels.

"Nothing makes me any different! I've only known him for a week and… I care about him so if you're worried I'm going to hurt him then you're wrong." Amanda threw the paper towels into the trash bin and made her way to the door until Karen stepped out of the stall and stared at them.

"You're both going to hell." She muttered. Allison laughed and Amanda groaned.

"Fuck off bible thumper," She snarled and yanked the door open to reveal John standing there waiting, "Jesus Christ does everyone have something to say?!" she shouted and made her way around John. She felt his hand snake around her arm just as she reached the library doors, pulling her to a grinding halt she turned and glared at him.

"What did _I _do?" he asked.

"_You_ didn't do anything but I'd appreciate if you called off the hounds!" She pointed back at Allison who was still halfway down the hall, "You know, I don't really care how many girls you've slept with, or kissed. I especially don't care about this Claire person! I care about you and I don't give a damn who doesn't believe that." She pointed once again at Allison and yanked the door open, making her way back to her table in a flurry of anger.

"Trouble in paradise?" The kid who sat behind her laughed. Amanda slumped into her chair and dropped her head onto the table's surface, desperate for even a few moments of sleep and peace from this ridiculous situation she hadn't even asked for.

###

She had been sleeping, dreaming even, until she heard a loud snoring directly beside her ear. Jerking herself away she turned her head and saw John resting beside her, his arm around her shoulders and his upper torso half on top of her.

'Shit he's heavy.' She thought to herself. Squirming her way out from under him she sat up and looked around to see everyone else also sleeping. The kid behind her had his feet up, arms crossed and head hanging back. Karen had her head resting on the table and her arms hanging off the edge. Allison had gone all out and laid on the table.

Turning back towards the front of the room Amanda groaned sleepily and rubbed her eyes. She looked at John who was still snoring.

'Well at least someone had gotten some sleep.' She thought to herself. She took a moment to study his painfully beautiful face and long brown hair. The bruise looked like it was on its way to healing thankfully. She leaned forward and rested her head on his back, inhaling his scent of tobacco and some sort of musky cologne deeply. He muttered something and began shifting lightly until he gave up and lifted his head, pushing hers off his back.

She sat there staring at him cautiously, worried about his response to her outburst earlier. He rubbed his eyes and turned to look at her. Smiling he reached out and wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

"Hey." He muttered sleepily.

"Hey yourself." She smiled when he leaned forward and placed a kiss on her forehead. Looking up at the clock that read 11:30 he grunted and released her. Turning he slammed his hand down on the kid's table, successfully waking everyone from their sleep.

"Vernon's gonna be here any minute." He warned them all. They groaned in unison and worked their way back to regular seated positions. Sure enough the man himself walked into the library.

"Time for lunch." They all grunted and he walked out.

Amanda pulled a bag of chips and a sandwich Barry had made her out of her bag.

"Is there a place to get a pop around here?" she asked John who nodded.

"The teacher's lounge." He stood and motioned for her to follow. Walking directly behind him he led them to the double doors and quietly opened them. Checking to make sure Vernon was sufficiently distracted they snuck out into the hallway.

"So what was that outburst about?" he asked, giving her a sideways glance.

"Allison just told me when we were in the bathroom about your ex-girlfriend." John groaned and rubbed his forehead.

"What ex-girlfriend? I haven't had an official girlfriend in years." He told her.

"No… you've just had fuck buddies." She muttered. He grabbed her hand and pulled her to a stop.

"I don't know what I did to piss you off but if you could just tell me I'd appreciate it." She looked down to avoid his intense stare.

"Who is Claire?" she asked.

"A fake bitch who only wanted attention." He responded acidly.

"Then why'd you make out with her?"

"I didn't 'make out' with her. I kissed her because I was hurting and she was there." he shrugged, suddenly feeling vulnerable for the umpteenth time today.

"Then what's to say this," she motioned between them, "isn't just going to end up being the same? Your dad beat the shit out of you so you're hurting and I'm here so how's this any different?"

"It's different because I say it is!" he finally shouted, "if you don't have any fucking confidence in us, or me, then leave." He dropped her hand and looked down.

"I just don't want to be a onetime fling to you." Amanda finally muttered after a solid minute of silence. His hand shot up and grabbed her chin; angling her face so she was finally looking at him again he placed a small, soft kiss on her lips.

"It's not a onetime thing. Trust me Mandy," He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into, strangely enough, their first hug. Amanda sighed happily and nervously, her head resting against his chest, "know something?" he laughed.

"What?"

"You're short." She hit his arm and laughed along with him.

"Am I ever going to see Claire?" she asked once they started walking again, hand in hand.

"I doubt it; she tends to avoid outcasts like us." John stopped in front of an unmarked door and opened it to reveal the teacher's lounge. They walked over to the soda machine and got two cokes. Amanda had a sudden, scary thought.

"I want to meet your parents." John's face darkened at her declaration.

"Fuck no." he told her point blank.

"Why not?" she asked as he opened the door and held it for her.

"No one meets my parents."

"According to you I'm not just anyone. I want to meet them. Tomorrow." John rubbed his forehead and grunted.

"Then I want to meet your mom." Amanda smiled and held her hand out to him.

"Deal." He shook it hesitantly.

"Plus… you get to see my room." She smiled. He laughed and wagged his eyebrows.

"Done deal baby." He reached out and grabbed her hand, holding it tightly.


	8. Chapter 8

"Are you sure about what you said earlier?" John asked after sitting a few moments. Amanda was sitting on his lap and his hands were on her hips when he asked this. She turned and looked at him confusedly with a piece of lettuce sticking out of her mouth.

"About what?" she asked when she was finally able to swallow.

"Meeting my parents. They aren't much to be proud of." He said like it didn't even faze him.

"How about this," she began, taking a sip of her soda, "why don't you come over tonight, I'll make dinner and you can meet my _fabulous_ mother and I bet you'll feel better about your parents." He smiled.

"That doesn't make any sense." He told her. She shrugged and took another bite. Chewing it and swallowing quickly she smiled at him.

"I figured you'd want to see my room that much sooner." His eyes lit up slightly at the prospect. Leaning forward he took her earlobe between his teeth and nibbled lightly, making her shudder.

"I don't think I'd be able to handle myself if I see the bed you sleep in… in your panties and a tank top." Amanda turned and glared at him.

"You creep, how'd you know that's how I sleep?" she hit his arm and he smirked.

"Educated guess," He shrugged and took a chip from the bag she had laying on the table, "but I'd like to sleep with you." He said, once again with vulnerability lacing his voice. Amanda was beginning to hate making him seem so exposed.

"That's not creepy at all," She laughed. When in doubt, make it a joke, "in fact that's the nicest way you've told me you want to get into my pants. I get it." He rolled his eyes and sat back.

"Yes that's true but you know what I mean. Just sleeping."

"Why?" that had to be one of the weirdest requests she'd ever received, not that it was all that bizarre in reality.

"Why not?" she shrugged and refocused on her sandwich, suddenly uncomfortable, "What?" he prodded like usual.

"I've never slept with anyone before… ever." She whispered.

"Ever? Not even at a sleep over?" he looked shocked.

"Look I know you've slept with tons of girls but I'm not like them. I've never even been to a sleep over or had anyone over." He stared at her like she was crazy.

"Why not?"

"When you meet my mom you'll know."

##

Detention was over more quickly than they could have imagined with Amanda spending the rest of it lying on the couch with her head in John's lap. He had eventually fallen asleep too with his hand on her face. Nightshift really took it out of her.

Walking out of the building with Vernon hot on John's heels talking about how he was getting through to him and John had better show up next weekend to which John just laughed and opened the door. Amanda was rubbing her sleep worn eyes when John grabbed her hand and walked with her through the football field. Stopping her suddenly he turned and stared at her, taking Amanda by complete surprise.

"What is it?" she asked.

"Last time I walked through this field I threw my fist into the air; excited I'd gotten the unattainable girl," he looked around almost longingly, making a hot knife of jealousy tear through Amanda's stomach, "the Monday afterwards, the day I met you, she blew me off. Acted like I didn't even exist. Allison suffered the same with the guy she'd taken a chance on. We were both hurting badly that day then you showed up." He pulled her close, wrapping an arm around her waist and cradling her face in his free hand.

"What are you getting at?" she asked, unsure of where this was going. He leaned down slowly and rubbed their noses together.

"This time I didn't get the unattainable girl, the girl who would blow me off… I got the right girl." He dropped his lips to capture hers. Amanda moaned lightly when they made contact for the umpteenth time today, however this one felt more special. His tongue was gentle as it explored her mouth, his lips massaged hers and his hands moved to hold her sides so she was flush against him. She buried her hands in his long, surprisingly soft hair and held him against her.

Pulling away just as she felt him growing against her he groaned and ran his hands through his hair.

"See you at six?" he asked breathily.

"It's a date." She smiled and walked away.

##

'What did I get myself into? I knew I couldn't cook for shit…' Amanda thought to herself as she stood in the tiny kitchen, rubbing her lips in thought. Staring at the package of raw chicken and vegetables she muttered a curse and threw her hands up in surrender.

John would be here in ten minutes and she hadn't made a single thing. Too blown away by that declaration followed by that kiss, she'd spent an hour and a half think about nothing but him until she noticed the time and ran to the kitchen only to find nothing.

"What are you doing?" her mom's course voice called out.

"Figuring out what the fuck to make for dinner!" she yelled back. Her mom had been in the bathroom doing her makeup for over an hour.

"Make some sort of chicken!" Her mom yelled.

"No shit!" Amanda walked towards the chicken and ripped the packaging open. Throwing it into a pan with some seasonings and some vegetables she turned the oven on and, without waiting for it to pre-heat, shoved the dish in.

Hearing the doorbell ring she shouted, "Fuck!" and tore her work apron off that she'd put on with the intention of actually cooking. Fluffing her short hair she walked to the door and hesitated slightly before opening it. The place was as clean as it could ever be but there was still some fear; she'd never invited anyone over before.

Ever.

Yanking the door open she gasped when she saw John standing there in a plain black t-shirt with a leather jacket and blue jeans on.

"You did your makeup." He stated plainly, staring at her like he'd never seen her before.

"What's wrong with it?" she wiped underneath her eyes, worried it had smudged.

"Nothing, jeez, calm down," He laughed and stared at her more, "care to invite me in?"

"Come in." she stood to the side and allowed him entrance. He sauntered in and removed his jacket immediately, being from LA they liked the heat. Amanda stared at him like he was a museum piece with muscles trailing down his arms and his large hands that were, for once, sans gloves. He turned towards her and smiled.

"What the…" she trailed off, looking at his bicep.

"What?" he asked, confused. She walked up to him and rolled his shirt up to reveal a tattoo of some sort of bird.

"Are you serious?" she asked. He looked down at it then back up at her.

"What's wrong?" he looked slightly worried as Amanda started to hyperventilate. Leaning down she rested her hands on her knees and groaned.

"What am I doing? You're older than me… oh my god, you have a fucking tattoo, you smoke, you get into trouble…" he looked offended.

"You smoke too." He responded defensively. She stood and whacked him in the arm.

"Just how old are you?" she whispered, too tempted to shout. He grabbed her upper arms and hauled her into the kitchen where they couldn't be heard.

"How old are you?" he demanded in a whisper.

"I asked you first!" she whispered loudly.

"I'm eighteen. Jesus Christ please tell me you're eighteen…" he suddenly looked like he was going to vomit.

"Yeah I am." She assured him.

"Then what's the problem?!" he almost shouted.

"Well I was thinking, since you've gotten into a lot of trouble, that maybe you'd been held back and you were older… like twenty." She felt ashamed suddenly. He glared at her and shook his head.

"How fucked up do you think I am?" he demanded.

"You're not fucked up; I got scared all of the sudden." They both turned quickly when they heard a pair of heals clicking on the tile floor.

"Who's this Amanda?" Her mom asked. As usual her mom looked completely overdone and sloppy but it was nothing new to Amanda.

"This is John, he's my…" was it too much too soon?

"I'm her boyfriend." John reached forward and offered her his hand.

"My boyfriend…" Amanda muttered breathily.

"Oh…well, nice to meet you John. Unfortunately you guys have to have dinner alone, I've got to get to work." She smiled and shook John's hand. Immediately releasing it she walked to the door and cheerily called out a goodbye and walked out.

'Thanks for being my buffer again mom…' Amanda thought, hoping to get through dinner with some sort of shield between her and John but like always her mom flaked out on her like she always had.

"Your mom's a hooker?" John stood with his mouth open in shock. Amanda nodded and began chewing her thumb nail.

"How ever did you guess?" she asked sarcastically. John laughed out loud and wrapped Amanda in an embrace.

"I guess both of our parents are fucked up… come on, let's forget that and go see that room of yours."


	9. Chapter 9

**Thank you for all of the lovely comments! Each one of them makes me super happy! WARNING: sexy time is about to ensue so beware of the smutty goodness about to take place!**

'I can do this… I can do this,' Amanda mentally guided herself. It felt all too strange to be walking a boy to her bedroom, let alone John Bender of all people, 'shit, what if I can't do this?' she felt panic bubbling up inside of her as she led him down the hallway, past the bathroom she so desperately wanted to lock herself in, past her mom's room and finally stopping in front of her door. Reaching out she grasped the handle and took a deep breath.

"Are you gonna open it?" he asked. She hadn't realized her deep breathing had lasted more than a few seconds so she nodded and opened the door to reveal her sparsely decorated room. Walking in, she looked around like she didn't even recognize it.

"Yep, this is it." She finally breathed out. He went and fiddled with a few knick knacks she'd kept over the years before making his way over to her bed and sitting on it. Her heart beat kicked up a few notches when he patted the bed next to him. She slowly made her way over to the bed and sat down awkwardly next to him. He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees, looking back at her.

"You're nervous." He half asked half told her.

"Wouldn't you be?" he shrugged and reached over, placing his hand on her knee.

"We don't have to do anything." He told her.

"You don't know how much I want to. I'm just scared." She told him honestly. He sat up and reached over, guiding her so she was straddling him.

"Don't be scared." He placed a gentle kiss on her neck and pulled her more firmly against him so she could feel his shockingly hard length against her. His hands wound into her hair and he cradled her head as he placed his lips against hers gently. Amanda moaned as barbs of pleasure tightened around her spine from his gentle, yet insistent tongue that explored every inch of her mouth. She grabbed his shoulders and held him closely as they continued on like this for what felt like forever but in reality was only a few moments. His kissing became more hurried, his tongue became rougher and his hands fisted in her hair almost painfully when she reached down and began lifting his shirt, desperate to see him, to finally know what he looked and felt like. Yanking the black material up he removed his hands, lifted his arms and pulled his lips from hers momentarily so she could tug the shirt off over his head. Her hands finally made contact with his bare, heated skin for the first time and she felt an overwhelming sense of urgency; like she couldn't know enough of him. Her hands ran over the tense muscles of his shoulders down his back which had another tattoo she couldn't see due to his urgent kissing. His muscles bunched and coiled every time she touched them. Grabbing her butt he lifted her and stood, her legs wrapping around his hips he walked them to the nearest wall and pressed her into it. His hands went to her shirt and lifted it until they disconnected again and he pulled it off. They didn't reconnect for a kiss like she'd hoped for; instead he stayed back so they could look at each other.

"You're more beautiful than I could have imagined," He whispered breathily. His hands went to her bare sides and he ran his thumbs along her skin, making her shiver at the goose bumps he raised, "I want to kiss every inch of you," He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her collarbone, further intensifying her shivering. He pressed his hips upward when he kissed her shoulder, pressing more of him against her core. Amanda moaned loudly at the shocking sensations that tore through her; her fingers tingled and her head felt light when he did it again, this time harder, "those are the moans I want to hear." He lifted his head and whispered in her ear.

"John…" she moaned. He tensed and pressed himself upward against her.

"You have no idea how hard that makes me when you moan my name," he told her bluntly, making her blush, "and yet your cheeks still get red when I call you out on it. You're a fucking wonder Mandy." He nudged her legs until she released them and stood. Stepping back he dropped down to his knees and kissed down her stomach, his hands holding her hips. She buried her hands in his hair when he nibbled on her sensitive skin. His fingers unsnapped the closure of her jeans and tugged them down her legs until they pooled on the ground and she stepped out of them, left standing there in just her bra and panties. His hands ran up her legs until he reached her hips, then he just stayed there. She looked down to see him staring up at her.

"What is it?" she whispered.

"I need your permission to go any further." He told her point blank, leaning forward to nibble on her hip.

"But…" she muttered, hesitant.

"What is it?" he asked.

"I want to see you." She told him. He stood and looked down at her imposingly, his eyes growing dark he smiled. Reaching down he undid his jeans and stood there.

"Anything for you baby." He grabbed her hands and placed them on the undone button of his pants. She slowly peeled the material apart and yanked it down his legs, kneeling to remove them fully she stopped when she realized something. Jumping back she hit the wall and cursed.

"You could have warned me!" she shouted. He laughed and reached down; grabbing her by the arms he hauled her up so she was standing once more.

"I don't usually announce when I'm going commando." She looked down hesitantly and her mouth fell open.

Sure it was the first penis she'd seen and she didn't have a single thing to compare it to but something was different. He looked larger than your average man…

"Are they all _that _big?" she muttered to which he just laughed.

"I don't go around looking at other guy's dicks so I don't know but thank you," She looked back up at him and blushed, "your innocence is incredible." He told her.

"Um… thanks I guess," She whispered. She looked at his chest and noticed yet another tattoo on his ribs, this one looked like a car part. She reached out and ran her fingers over what looked like a piston but she couldn't be certain, "this one must have hurt." She muttered.

"More than this one," he nodded to his bicep and shrugged, "but it wasn't so bad." He reached out and cupped her cheek, tilting her head up and away from his ribs so he could look her in the eye. His thumb reached out and stroked her bottom lip gently as his gaze bore into hers; her nervousness was mounting from the lack of kissing and the silence that was surrounding them.

"I won't go any further if you don't want me to." He whispered, returning them to the topic at hand.

"I do." She assured him, still uncertain of herself. His thumb stroked her lip one final time before moving his hand to the back of her neck and wrapping around it, yanking her closer to him so their lips were almost touching.

"Then tell it to me straight baby; tell me what you want." He muttered; his lips ghosting over hers so lightly it didn't feel real. Amanda reached out and rested her hands on his taut stomach feeling his muscles tense at the contact.

"I want you." She told him finally. He groaned and yanked himself away; falling to his knees he grabbed the waistband of her panties and tore them down her legs before she could even re-think her statement. She stood there, bare before him for the first time, and stared; hoping he wouldn't be disappointed. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her bare hip and ran his hands up her legs and around to her butt, squeezing and kneading as he went.

"Is there anywhere that you're not perfect?" he muttered and stood. Grabbing her arms and wrapping them around his shoulders he lifted her and walked them to the bed where he laid her down and kneeled between her legs. His hands ran up her legs once more, past her hips, to her stomach to finally rest just beneath her bra. Sliding his hands beneath her shoulders he hauled her up so she was sitting on his lap, his hard length inches from her core. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek and lips as his fingers made quick work of her bra closure. Unsnapping it he pulled the straps from her shoulders and down her arms until she was completely unclothed. Tipping them forward he landed on top of her on the soft surface of the bed and began kissing her. His hands moved from behind her so he could grasp her breast for the first time, his fingers pulling and plucking at her until she moaned out loud and he pressed his aching cock against her. She whimpered and pulled back ever so slightly; fear gripping her once more.

"Trust me Mandy," he whispered against her lips, his hands moved to the sides of her stomach and held her tightly, "take a deep breath," She followed his command and sucked in a lung full of air shakily, his right hand went from her stomach to her face while his left hand went to his member and poised it at her entrance, "and release." She blew out loudly and he pushed himself in fully on the first try. Amanda cried out slightly at the small burning sensation; his lips crashed against hers to stifle her moans as he held himself deep within her. Her hands flew up and fisted in his hair; desperate for an outlet from the pain.

Sitting there, allowing her to adjust to his length and girth, John held her tightly and stifled a groan at the unimaginable sensations bombarding him. He had to physically stop himself from pulling out and shoving himself back in; the pain in her eyes made that easier. She was calming down slightly, her eyes were watering but her fingers in his hair were loosening. Pulling his lips away he rubbed their noses together and exhaled shakily.

"Are you okay?" he asked. She bit her lip and nodded. John took that as his cue to pull out just slightly and push back in. She groaned and gripped his shoulders the burning was dissipating slowly and being replaced with small shocks of pleasure but not enough for it to make the pain go away completely. John kept moving to keep the pleasure building; hoping against hope that he could make her come the first time around. He started off slowly at first, only pulling out an inch or so until she began moaning and writhing, then he pulled out almost all the way, held himself there and shoved himself back in. Amanda cried out in ecstasy as the burning disappeared completely and was now completely taken over by spine tingling pleasure.

"John…" she moaned as he picked up the pace, her hands moved from his shoulders to the back of his neck, her lips pressed against his as he pistoned in and out of her. He held her close and groaned in her ear.

"Mandy…" he moaned, "I can't hold on. I'm so sorry." He muttered and grunted, releasing himself within her just as she was quickly yanked to her surprising pinnacle. Amanda cried out at the immediate barrage of white hot spikes tearing through her, making her shake and moan as lights exploded behind her closed eyes.

She held onto him tightly as he grunted and groaned, taken aback by his equally powerful orgasm that made him want to hold her and never let go. No one had ever taken him this high before no matter the situation or the wildness of the sex; he'd never felt as close to heaven as he did when he was buried inside of this girl and she was moaning in his arms.

"Mandy," he whispered against her sweaty neck, he loved that he made her a writhing sweaty mess, "I think I love you."


	10. Chapter 10

'What did I just do?' John stilled and looked down at Amanda who was staring up at him in amazement. She looked like she'd come into her own; she looked completely happy and at peace. John, however, felt none of that. His head was still reeling from the unbelievable things she made him feel and the words that had slipped out of him when his guard finally fell completely for the first time in years. He felt safe when he was holding her like he was right now; him sitting and her in his lap, him still inside of her. It felt… perfect; which scared the living shit out of him. In his entire life nothing had ever felt this right. It was a completely foreign concept to him.

He turned them and laid her down on the bed, removing himself and sitting on the edge of the bed, his elbows resting on his knees. He ran his hands through his hair and took a few deep breaths.

"John?" Amanda sat up and touched his shoulder, "what's wrong?" she asked when he jerked away from her hand. He looked at her like he didn't even recognize her.

"I have to go." He told her, standing he walked and grabbed his pants. Yanking them up his legs he shoved his feet into his boots and grabbed his shirt. Amanda shot out of bed and pulled a nightshirt on over her head that had been hanging out of her dresser drawer.

"Like hell you are; you need to talk to me." She grabbed his arm and pulled him to a stop once he had his hand on the doorknob.

"About what?" He turned and snapped at her. She grabbed a pair of underwear out of a basket of clean clothes she'd neglected to put away. Yanking them on she jabbed her index finger into his still bare chest.

"How about you start with why you fuck me and run?" she shouted right back, "I get the whole tough guy thing is a defense mechanism however, you will not act like that with me!" she continued, making him rub his eyebrows in frustration.

"Mandy I just need to go." He said as calmly as possible. She looked genuinely hurt which in turn made him ache inside; yet another foreign concept to him that only intensified the fear within him.

"You are not leaving until you talk to me. Apparently you're my 'boyfriend'," she threw up the air quotes, "so seeing as how couples talk; talk to me god damnit!" she screamed and his temper flared. Reached out he grabbed her upper arms and shook her slightly.

"Don't you get it?! I've never told anyone I love them before! I don't know how the fuck to feel about all of this!" he shouted at her, his fingers digging into her skin hard enough to leave bruises, "I haven't even said that to my mom! You felt too damn good and it scares the shit out of me that I could want someone that much!" he pushed her back and opened the door roughly. Storming out of the room he turned and walked towards the from door, turned to grab his jacket and stopped short when he turned back and saw her standing in front of the door. Her arms were crossed and she was looking at him sternly. Her upper arms were already reddening and bruising slightly which made him cringe but he refused to show it.

"That's why you're running? Because you like me more than you thought you did?" she seemed disbelieving.

"Why do you never leave anything alone?" he demanded, yanking his shirt over his head onto his torso which Amanda hated to see covered. She ideally hoped for him to lay her back in bed and cuddle up next to her, every girl's perfect ending to her first time. Instead she was left battling his… insecurities. What felt like a wonderful, beautiful, perfect moment was quickly being tarnished by his inability to cope with his feelings.

"I'm not leaving this alone because what happened in there was fucking perfect; if you disagree with me then give it to me straight because I can cope. But don't walk out," She practically begged him, "if you just wanted to fuck me once then leave and never speak to me again tell me that. Don't leave without a word." She walked forward, her hands reaching to touch him almost like she was approaching a volatile animal that could strike at any moment. He stood stock still and let her run her hands up his chest and look up at him. He loved how good she felt, how warm she was compared to everyone else; but that was the problem.

"So is that it? Just one time and then we're over?" she asked honestly and without attitude despite the tears obviously forming in the corners of her eyes.

"I don't want just one time," he whispered, looking down at the ground, "I want more than one time; I want hundreds, thousands of times. I've never felt this way with anyone before." He told her honestly.

"Then why are you pushing me away?" she prodded, hoping she wasn't taking it too far.

"Because of those things I'm feeling towards you," he gently stroked her upper arms where his hands had bruised her, feeling like the lowest of the low for doing that, "I meant what I said and that scares the shit out of me."

"There's nothing to be scared of John. You don't have anything to worry about; this is my first time for a lot of things too, you're not the only one that's frightened…" she muttered and gently rested her head on his shoulder. He set his jacket back down on the table and wrapped his arms around her; hoping against all rational hope that this time would be different. Hoping she wouldn't push him away, the circumstances wouldn't tear them apart and she wouldn't ignore him like he was the dirt beneath her shoes.

"Spend the night John," she muttered, kissing his shirt clad chest gently, "then tomorrow we can get breakfast and I can meet your parents." He groaned and dropped his head back in frustration, having completely forgotten about their deal.

"Fine." He conceded and looked down at her. She turned her head and smiled brightly up at him, clearly trying to diffuse the tension still brewing between them. He finally smiled back and kneeled down to scoop her legs up and hold her against his chest with an arm behind her shoulders and knees. She rested her head on his shoulder and wrapped her arms around his neck as he carried her back into her bedroom; kicking the door shut he took a few steps and dropped her onto the bed. Yanking the covers back she settled in and adjusted the pillows. John sat on the edge of the bed tugging his boots and shirt off before settling in next to her. Amanda reached over and tugged on the lamp cord until it went out and they were left in an almost stiflingly silent darkness.

"Do you always sleep with pants on?" she asked, breaking the silence.

"Yes." He muttered sleepily. She turned so she was facing him and tucked her hands under her head.

"Why?" she continued.

"Honestly?"

"Yeah." She jumped slightly when she felt his hand on her side pulling her closer to him. She pulled her hands out from under her head and rested them on his chest. He sighed audibly and kissed her forehead, wrapping his arms around her.

"In case my dad comes home drunk and I have to run." He whispered. Amanda held her breath in shock; the fact that he'd told her something painfully personal like that amazed her and upset her at the same time. She'd had a vague idea about his dad; she knew he drank a lot and got into bad fights with John but this seemed extremely private, something you wouldn't tell just anyone.

"That's bad." She reached up and stroked his cheek. He turned his head and kissed her fingers one by one.

"I don't want to think about that son of a bitch," he muttered against her thumb, nibbling it lightly until she giggled despite his harsh words, "just let me hold you." He wrapped his arms more tightly around her and fell silent. Amanda sat perfectly still until she heard his breathing change to a deeper, slower rhythm that signaled sleep. Shifting ever so slightly she leaned forward and pressed a kiss against his collarbone.

"I don't think I love you John," she whispered against his fevered skin, "I _know_ I love you."


	11. Chapter 11

Amanda groaned and turned, stretching her arm out she felt nothing but cold sheets next to her. Lifting her heavy eyelids slowly she saw her blankets and sheets were overturned as though someone had rushed out of bed.

"John?" she called out groggily. Turning she looked and saw his shirt and shoes were still littering her bedroom floor but there was no response from him. Sitting up she swung her legs over the edge of the bed and hoisted herself out of it. Running a hand through her hair she yawned and walked out of the open bedroom door. Rubbing her eyes she made her way down the hallway and through the living room to find him standing in the kitchen. Stopping at the little bar that was between the kitchen and the living room she gave him a look and rested her elbows on its surface.

"What happened?" she asked, worried he was back to being upset like he was last night. His eyes shot down to her arms then back up to her eyes. He lifted a burning cigarette to his lips and shrugged. She reached through the open space and grabbed it from his fingers, lifting it to her lips she took a drag.

"Dinner was burning." He muttered as she was returning the cigarette. Her eyes widened and she muttered, "Oh shit," before running around the wall space and into the kitchen to find he had taken the pan out and placed it on the stovetop. The contents were charred and blackened to the point that they were unrecognizable.

She felt him move behind her before wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing her neck gently.

"I love you," he muttered much to her amazement. Pulling her attention from the disaster before her she turned and kissed his cheek, placing her arms around his shoulders and gazing up at him, "but you're a terrible cook." He laughed. Amanda glared at him and hit his arm.

##

"I wish you would reconsider." John muttered as he was grabbing his coffee from Barry. They'd stopped by her work to get some coffee before making their way to John's house. Amanda was hesitant about meeting his parents but also excited; it didn't seem like anyone had ever had this mush insight into John's personal life.

"You met my mom." She retorted and thanked Barry for the coffee to which he just shook his head. Turning, they walked out of the diner and helped each other to light a cigarette.

"Your mom wasn't that bad." He said. Amanda turned her head and gave him a look.

"Really? She's nice, I'll give her that. But she's a prostitute." She said, ashamed at the disgusting truth. She'd become used to it really; but being accustomed to your mother selling herself for money never made it any easier to tell other people.

"Well we all gotta make our way somehow." He shrugged and took a sip. Amanda wound her arm around his stomach and rested her head on his bicep as they walked.

"What do you want to do after high school?" she asked, realizing they'd never covered this subject.

"What I'm doing now," He told her, "working on cars."

"That's hard work." She smiled.

"What do you want to do?" he turned it back on her. They rounded a corner and made their way down a quiet neighborhood road.

"I want to be a nurse," she told him, smiling at the prospect, "but I want to be a mom more than anything." He stiffened at that. His face went stoic and his gaze chilled at the idea of having kids. She'd hadn't said a thing about having them with him or anything so his worry was for nothing, but still… the idea made him sick to his stomach.

"Do you want kids?" she asked innocently enough.

"No." he snarled at her, "are you insane?"

Unable to contain her anger at his rudeness she muttered, "Well then use a condom next time."

"You're on birth control so I didn't see the need." He moved his arm from her shoulders and held himself at a distance.

"Okay stop," she grabbed his arm and yanked him to a halt, "one, how did you know I was on birth control? Two, I hardly see how that's relevant; you should have used a condom. And three, why are you being such a shithead about having kids? It's just a question!" his eyes widened like they always did when anything surprised him.

"I saw your pills in your backpack the first time we met and I hate using condoms." He muttered, rubbing the back of his neck.

"You can be such a fucking creep you know that?" she laughed angrily, "answer the last question." She told him. He looked taken aback by her demand but he answered none-the-less.

"I don't like kids." He stated simply as though that answered everything. She threw her hands up in defeat and continued forward; determined to break down this one barrier, even if she didn't succeed in any other at least she'd have this.

Flicking her cigarette onto the grass she shoved her hands into her pocket and stared straight ahead, her resolve was steely and it showed despite the torrent of emotions running rampant through her. He, more than anyone she'd ever met before, made her feel frenzied; she'd been drifting through life stoically, never becoming attached to anyone due to the knowledge that she'd be moving a year after she'd met them. Sometimes it had turned into two or three years; Las Vegas had proven to be such a case. Chicago was just supposed to be a pit stop on their non-stop road trip towards the perfect place her mother could conduct business safely and Amanda could settle down.

Then she'd met John and suddenly she'd begun feeling emotions she'd never felt before.

"We're here." He stopped her. Amanda turned and looked at the unassuming house; it looked like most others on the block save the three disassembled cars and car parts littering the front yard. There was a silver chain link fence lining the perimeter of the medium, white colored two story house.

"Let's go inside." Amanda immediately made for the gate before John caught up to her and blocked her path.

"Will you just wait a fucking second?" he snarled at her, "whatever you do just follow me and stop when I tell you to stop." He reached out and ran his fingers down her cheek gently. Leaning forward he kissed her forehead and moved his hands to grip the back of her neck almost painfully. Amanda lifted her hands and held onto his wrists, kissing his chin when he finally pulled away.

"Don't worry John." She assured him. Yanking the gate open he ushered her inside the fence perimeter and walked her to the front door which he hesitantly opened.

Amanda was thrown by the overwhelming scent of beer and cigarettes. She grabbed onto John's hand as he slowly led them through the foyer that was devoid of furniture or pictures; her mother never failed to put up Amanda's old school pictures no matter where they lived.

"I'm back!" John called out.

"Where the fuck have you been?!" a deep male voice called out and John stopped short right in front of Amanda. Reaching back he pushed her back slightly as a full beer can came flying out of the entryway to what she assumed was the living room. Some sort of sport game was blaring painfully loud from the dark room. The beer can hit the wall and exploded, judging from the previous stains it looked like commonplace for beer to be dripping down that particular area of wall.

"I have a friend here." He called out, hoping it would diffuse the usual tension.

"Bring them in." The man called out less angrily. John took Amanda's hand again, this time painfully tight, and led her into the living space that was sparsely furnished save the gigantic television that was lighting up the entire room. John's dad was sitting in a recliner facing the TV and his mom was sitting in the corner sewing.

"Dad this is Mandy." John introduced her acidly. John's dad turned slightly so he could see Amanda. He was a large, balding man with overgrown facial hair and bloodshot eyes.

He looked like John but twenty years older and seventy pounds heavier.

"Hi Mr. Bender." Amanda greeted him politely. He chuckled and turned back to the television.

"Who's she?" he asked. John ground his teeth and yanked Amanda into his arms.

"My girlfriend." He responded more venomously than before. His dad busted up laughing, leaning forward he hit his knee and finally stood. He walked over to stand in front of the pair of them and smiled disbelievingly.

"Don't lie to me you shithead; we both know you couldn't get a girl." His dad smirked and looked at Amanda, giving her a once over.

"Well he did get a girl." Amanda surprisingly piped up. Much like John, his dad's eyes widened and he smiled. John began walked away, pulling Amanda with him. His dad stood there laughing as they walked towards the stairs.

They made their way upstairs to John's room. Opening the door he rushed her in and closed it immediately, locking it.

"Happy?" he asked her acidly. Amanda looked around at John's room with its cart parts strewn about, posters littered the walls and a large bed sat in the corner. It was surprisingly clean given the state of the rest of the house.

"Very." She goaded him. He ran his hands through his hair agitatedly and went to the closet to look for clothes. She went up behind him and gently placed her hands on his back once he'd removed his jacket and shirt. He was angry and tense to the point it seemed painful. Kissing his bare skin gently she rubbed his back until he calmed down slightly and dropped his head back in frustration.

"I hate coming here." He told her. She kissed him again and rubbed her cheek along his skin in a gesture of comfort.

"I know John," she whispered, "thank you though." He turned and gave her a look like she had lost her mind.

"Why are you so happy about this?" he asked her. She placed her hands on his hips and kissed his collarbone.

"Because it feels like I know you better than anyone else." She told him honestly. He dropped his shirt and reached up to cup her face in his hands. He had to all but kneel to be able to give her a kiss but he did it none-the-less. His lips pressed against hers gently and his thumbs stroked her skin as he held her closely.

"You do." He affirmed once he pulled back. Amanda felt tears prick her eyes suddenly as a completely random thought entered her brain.

"I don't want to move." She whispered. He closed his eyes and kissed her nose before resting his forehead against hers. Moving one hand he cupped the back of her neck and exhaled loudly.

"You won't." he released her and turned back towards the closet where he grabbed an old Converse shoe box and pulled it out. Yanking her down they sat on the ground with the box between them; Amanda stared at it and John stared at her, hesitant to show her. He grabbed the edges of the box and lifted it to reveal what he'd been accumulating for five years now.

"Oh my god John…" Amanda muttered her hand flying to her mouth in an attempt to contain her surprise.

"Three thousand dollars." He told her. Leaning forward over the money he grabbed the back of her neck once more and pressed their foreheads together. Amanda reached up and held his wrists tightly as they held that pose; both breathing deeply at the unspoken prospect now burgeoning between them.

"I'm not letting you go, especially to another city," He told her, "I love you too much. I'll do whatever it takes to keep you here," he motioned towards the money, "even if it means getting a place of our own."


	12. Chapter 12

"John… you have no idea what you're talking about." Amanda muttered once his words had fully sunk in. He removed one of his hands and shoved the box of money aside; grabbing her shoulders he pushed her back onto the carpeted floor and slowly crawled up her body, kissing as he went. She giggled and ran her hand through his hair; half elated at what he just said and half terrified, what if it did happen? Was she ready to live with someone else? Someone that she hadn't known even a week… but on the flip side would she be willing to move when her mother inevitably made that announcement? It would mean leaving John and the strangely alluring Chicago behind and that was something she couldn't stomach.

"I do know what I'm talking about." he muttered, now kissing her neck like he loved to do. Amanda began giggling harder as he tickled her neck with his long, wispy hair that brushed the skin around where he was kissing. His hand reached down and grabbed her thigh, hauling her leg up and around him so she was angled just enough that he could press himself against her. Removing his hand once he was certain she'd hold that position, he ran it up her leg and underneath her shirt, tickling and massaging the sensitive skin of her stomach. Amanda laughed and moaned in tandem with the warring sensations wracking her; at one moment he would be playfully ghosting his fingers over her skin until she broke down and laughed out loud, the next moment he would be pressing the heated skin of his palm against her in a gesture that could only be construed as lustful.

"Again? So soon?" Amanda breathed out. John nodded and kissed up her neck some more until he was nibbling her jaw, his hand following him upwards just to rest against her ribs right below her right breast. She sighed as the near oppressive heat from his skin flooded her, making her warm and achy.

"I can never get enough of you," he muttered against her jaw, delivering a particularly harsh nip that made Amanda squirm, "I'll take everything I can get." His tongue darted out and laved at the miniscule would he had created, which reminded him…

Pulling his hand out from beneath her shirt and moving her leg he sat up. He buried his hands beneath Amanda's back and tugged her shirt and sweatshirt up until she arched her back in a way that made him ache and he was able to remove her clothing. She smiled up at him, thinking this was all foreplay only to be shocked when John gently reached out and touched the now purple bruises on her upper arms. Amanda looked down and saw the mottled skin then looked up at John to find his eyes were filled with something similar to… remorse?

Leaning down he pressed his lips against the starkly dark skin that stood out angrily against her usually pale complexion.

"What's the matter?" she asked gently when he didn't remove his lips.

"I hate it that I hurt you; it makes me feel like I'm no better than him." he spat that last word out venomously, his eyes darting to the doorway to indicate he was speaking of his father. Amanda reached down and buried her hands in his long hair, looking down at him like he had lost his mind.

"You and I both know you are nothing like him." she assured him. He lifted his head and stared at her wistfully; wanting to believe her despite everything he'd been told his whole life.

"I want to be better." He said, both of them knowing he wasn't speaking of his parentage exclusively.

"What do you mean?" she asked. He sat up, pulling her with him and onto his lap. His hands went and undid the back of her bra gently; his lips kissed her shoulder where her bra strap previously sat. He laid his hands on her ribs and rubbed the skin with his thumb.

"I'm really no good." He told her, nibbling the skin of her shoulder while his hair tickled her neck. His hands moved to her back and pulled her closer. Amanda reached down and grabbed at the hem of his shirt desperately until John leaned forward and she was able to pull it off of him to reveal his near feverish, muscled chest. She ran her fingers over his shoulders, down his pectorals to his tattoo on top of his ribs, he was kissing her collarbone down to her right breast where he captured a nipple with his lips and sucked gently until she moaned and arched her back against him, pressing his hardened length into her.

"I kind of like that about you though." She responded to his previous declaration. Detaching himself from her he moved her so they could both stand and unsnap their pants. Amanda shimmied out of hers down to her lacy underwear John had chosen this morning when she'd been getting dressed which had been a process in and of itself with him touching her all over and kissing wherever he could find. He was sans underwear like she had known he would be.

John stood and stared, something he found himself doing more often than not nowadays, at the girl in front of him. Her small five foot stature, shockingly blonde hair and navy blue eyes made him ache with the want to get as close as possible and explore every inch of what she had to offer. Her extreme, bubbly and loving personality topped her off and made her a wonder to behold. He'd never felt so at home like he did when he held her.

He reached out and grabbed the top of her undergarment and tugged it down her legs quickly. Amanda was much less shocked this time around compared to yesterday but it was still unnerving to be completely naked in front of someone like him. It was the strangest feeling; on one hand she felt like a complete fool, here she was, still a virgin in some ways, standing before him without a stitch of clothing on and he had lord knows how much experience with how many girls? But at the same time it was liberating and an overwhelming turn on to be with someone who genuinely cared about her and knew all the ways he could make her feel good.

Once she was out of her panties he walked over to his nightstand and pulled out a condom. She smiled and laughed, remembering their earlier conversation. She watched as he ripped the packet open and rolled it over his painful looking erection; she wondered if all men got that hard and took on that reddened color. He dropped the empty foil packet and reached over, grabbing her wrist and yanking her towards him. He sank down onto the bed so he was sitting and pulled her onto his lap, smashing his lips into hers he lifted her hips with his hands just enough so he could position himself and sink into her. Amanda moaned and hissed at the slight twinge of pain that was quickly masked by explosive pleasure. She wrapped her legs around his hips and her arms around his shoulders in an attempt to hold that position for as long as possible with him buried so deeply within her.

"I'd ruin you." He muttered against her lips. She took his lower lips between her teeth and bit down gently, savoring the deep groan he released at the surprising spark of pain that only worked to further enflame him.

"I'd let you ruin me," she muttered, her tongue now licking his small bite marks, "and I'd ruin you." John's eyebrows rose in his classic fashion; no one had shocked him as frequently as Amanda did.

"And just how would you manage that?" he hissed, pulling himself out fractionally then surging back in when she smiled. Amanda bit her lip at the explosive ripples of bliss that wound through her at his movements.

"You'd fall in love with me and that would devastate the tough guy façade you work so hard to shove in everyone's faces." She moaned. John paused at her choice of words but only momentarily, once he'd regained his composure and had shoved her declaration to the back of his mind to be focused on later he grabbed her hips and yanked her upward, almost entirely removing himself before pulling her back roughly so he was fully embedded within her tight, wet heat once more. Amanda let out a shallow scream at the first thrust; the heat was damn near overpowering, it threated to spill through her with every small movement he made. John continued thrusting in this manner until a fast, desperate rhythm was established and they were both moaning. Amanda ground herself down against him and John surged upward into her. She fell forward and rested her head on his shoulder, her legs burning from the vigorous workout. John continued to thrust into her, his hands on her hips. Amanda wrapped her arms around his shoulders and kissed his neck.

"John…" she moaned just as the floodgates opened and she came in a wave of blinding light. Screaming out loudly, her hips seemed to move of their own accord against his powerful thrusts. John jerked her forward and covered her still screaming mouth with his hand before exploding within her; realizing at that moment that she was already tearing down those barrier's he'd worked so hard to put up.

And he loved her for it.

##

**Monday **

Amanda smiled widely as she reminisced about the past twenty four hours. She'd woken up next to John twice, had sex for the first time, made love for the first time and fell in love for the first time. It was almost painfully wonderful how everything was working out. The situation was the epitome of perfect; every girl's dream. They woken up, gotten ready for school and walked there together, hand in hand. He'd given her a piggy back ride to her locker, both of them laughing the whole way despite the shocked looks of their peers. He'd given her a sweet kiss before making his way to his own locker; telling her he'd see her in English.

"Amanda?" She heard behind the open door of her locker. Grabbing her English textbook and notebook she closed the door to reveal a girl standing beside her.

"Yeah?" she asked. The girl extended her arm and offered her gloved hand in greeting. Amanda took it hesitantly, somewhat put off at the uncustomary propriety of her gesture.

"Do you have a minute?" The girl asked. Amanda nodded and shook their connected hands.

"Sure, wait, who are you?" she inquired.

"I'm Claire."


	13. Chapter 13

**Thank you for the reviews and the followings! I appreciate it more than you can imagine.** **Let me know what you think! Hugs and kisses :)**

'Just because her name is Claire doesn't mean it's the Claire that Allison told me about.' Amanda thought. Her heart was racing at even the chance that it was the Claire in mention; she hadn't confrontation. Surely it wasn't her; this girl was tall, at least five foot six, she was dressed impeccably, her makeup was flawless and her hair was a short, bright auburn. There was no way in hell that John would ever kiss, or even hope to date her.

"Walk with me." She commanded. Amanda complied and walked next to her, struggling to keep up with her long legged strides. She felt painfully inadequate next to this girl; Amanda only ever wore jeans, regular t-shirts and usually Converse whereas Claire had on a medium length white skirt and a cobalt blue silk blouse with matching heels. She looked like she'd walked off the cover of a magazine.

"Word around the campfire is you're dating John Bender." She started and Amanda felt near to vomiting; so this was _that_ Claire. It had to be if the first thing she mentions is John.

"Sort of." She muttered. She looked to see Claire smirk at her response, or lack of.

"Well if it is indeed true I feel like I must warn you." She came to a grinding halt and grabbed Amanda gently by the arm. They were stopped right in front of her English class where she could see everyone, including John, sitting at their tables waiting for lecture to start. Either this was a bizarre coincidence that they'd stopped here, or a cruel, thought out plan.

"Warn me about what?" Amanda asked, turning back to Claire and away from the class.

"Well you may or may not know but John and I had detention together two Saturdays ago," Amanda nodded and Claire continued, "it was eventful I admit and in the end I confessed, more or less, my feelings for John." Amanda's heart sped up and her palms became sweaty at the image of this girl kissing, or even speaking to John intimately.

"And?" Amanda prodded, eager to get this conversation she shouldn't have agreed to in the first place, over with.

"Well naturally he had feelings for me too," her ego began to show, "so we kissed and I gave him one of my diamond earrings as a sort of symbol that I care about him." it was all horribly cheesy yet painful at the same time.

"What does this have to do with me?" She asked, her temper wearing thin.

"Don't you see? The same day he met you he blew me off, ignored me like I didn't even matter. He really is a hateful man Amanda; he is so obviously using you to hurt me for whatever I did wrong," she lowered her voice and continued pitifully, "I know he's going to do the same to you." Claire whispered.

"I don't believe you." Amanda insisted although part of her did; the stories between her and John had different outcomes but the same storyline.

"Alright then, don't believe me. But when you go into class look at his ear." Claire dared her. Amanda felt thoroughly confused at the conflicting stories told by both of them; she hated even more that they'd dragged her into the middle of their shit.

"Why would he do that?" Amanda asked, looking back at John who was sitting at the back table with his feet propped up much like how he was when she first met him.

"Just think about it Amanda; me and him, we couldn't be together it would never work. So he's upset about it, possibly heartbroken," she couldn't imagine John being lovesick or heartbroken but in all reality what did she know about him? "I knew we couldn't work so I guarded myself and cut ties with him. He didn't know how to cope with it so he found someone else to get back at me; to hurt me like he thinks I hurt him." Claire told her levelly as though it was a perfectly logical explanation.

"But it makes no sense; he told me he loves me and he was sincere about it." Amanda felt tears welling up in the backs of her eyes at even the hint that it could be true.

"Face it Amanda; you're a rebound and it's time you realized it. I don't want you to be hurt like I know he'd hurt you. Get out while you still can." Claire finished and walked off haughtily, leaving Amanda a tearful mess. She stood before the classroom door with tears falling down her face for what felt like eternity, unable to even touch the knob and open the door. Her heart was pounding painfully hard and she felt near to fainting; praying that when she sat next to him there wasn't an earring in his ear.

Finally wiping the tears from her face and biting back her sobs she yanked the door open and stormed into the classroom, muttering something about being sick in the bathroom. She rushed to the back table and dropped her books onto its surface with a bang. Sitting in the seat to the left of John she took a deep, clarifying breath and finally looked at him. He was staring at her, mouthing the words, 'Are you okay?' Amanda nodded and took her fill of his beautiful face; fully aware that this moment would make or break them. She couldn't get enough of his devilish smirk or his heart wrenching smile, his shockingly white teeth, his long brown hair with the lighter streak in the very front she wanted to touch oh so badly. She wanted him to hold her and mutter silly, sweet as sugar words in her ear that would make everything better; she wanted so fucking badly to ignore the naysayers and just melt into him, cutting off the rest of the world and making the life she'd never had with him.

He reached out and grabbed her hand gently; she nearly broke down then at the warmth of his grasp, how his gloved hand was so rough and calloused yet it felt so goddamn tender when he held her.

She felt like a complete and utter fucking fool for letting herself fall for him when Allison had practically given her a heads up only to be followed by Claire telling her frankly that she was a rebound and John was a liar.

Mentally crossing her fingers she stilled her breathing and reached up, moving his hair and tucking it behind his ear to reveal a bright, lustrous diamond stud jutting from his earlobe right beneath a small silver cuff. Her heart stilled in her chest as pain wracked her so hard she could nearly taste it, tangy and metallic in her mouth. She dropped her hand and looked down at the ground momentarily before standing and notifying the teacher that she felt ill and she had to go to the bathroom once more. John hesitantly released her hand, none the wiser to what she'd just realized.

Her feet felt like lead as she trudged to the door and pulled it open with a measure of difficulty; she felt weak all over.

Once the door was open and she had removed herself from the classroom entirely she turned and ran to the exit as fast as she possibly could.


	14. Chapter 14

**Just a small chapter to explain where Mandy ended up when things start happening. Read and review pretty please :)**

Amanda ran towards home as fast as her feet would carry her. The enormity of her pain was so overwhelming she couldn't focus on a single thing except John and how much she'd hoped for. He had seemed like a troubled man but he'd given her hope, the hope that she'd be able to tough it out in one singular place, the hope that she'd finally have someone in her life that she wouldn't have to leave in a year… the hope that loving someone was possible even for her.

Her eyeliner had run down her face in watery black lines, her nose was running despite her best efforts to staunch it and she was shivering violently from the cold, having left her jacket in her locker along with her backpack and other essentials. She stormed up the steps to her apartment and pounded on the door, knowing her mother would be asleep from another late night. She locked the door every morning when she left but she'd neglected to grab her keys from her locker.

"Mom! Open up!" she shouted, pounding on the solid wood until her knuckles burned and split open, leaving bloody smudges on its surface. Her tears fell faster and she opened her fist to slam her palm against the door, desperate to rouse her mother, "Mom! Please, please, please open the door!" she shouted not a moment before the lock turned and the door opened. Amanda rushed in and slammed the door shut before her mom could even remove her hand from the knob.

"Mandy, what's going on?" she asked worriedly, rubbing her sleep worn eyes. Amanda cringed at hearing Johns nick name for her. She turned and rushed past her mom, heading for her room.

"I need to call Nana." She declared to her mother who followed her to the room, waking up considerably at the pain in Amanda's voice.

"What happened?" she asked. Amanda pulled out her suitcase and slammed it onto the bed; she went to the dresser and pulled out a handful of clothes and work uniforms. Shoving them into the case she grabbed the phone that sat on her nightstand and lifted the receiver to her ear. Dialing the number for her mom's best friend since childhood, who incidentally gave Amanda her job as a waitress, she looked at her mom wistfully.

"I broke up with John." She ground out painfully. While that wasn't the whole truth it was a lot easier to say compared to, 'John used me to get back at the girl he really loves.' Nana answered on the second ring and Amanda cupped the phone closely, feeling the tears flowing faster and harder as they usually did when someone you spoke to someone you loved in a time of hurt.

"Nana?" Amanda asked brokenly.

"Amanda? Baby what's wrong?" She began immediately with her soothing tone. Amanda cried harder and held the phone shakily against her ear.

"I need to stay in Corrine's apartment for a little bit." She practically begged. Corrine was Nana's daughter, Amanda's only consistent friend throughout her life, who'd gone off to college at the beginning of the year.

"Absolutely darling, come on over to the diner; I'll have a plate of food and a hot bath waiting for you." Amanda thanked her profusely and hung up, facing her real mother this time. Nana owned the space above the diner which had been converted into two apartments, one for her and one for Corrine so the diner could be looked after 24/7.

"So you're leaving?" her mom asked pitifully. She'd never really been able to take care of herself without Amanda there to pick up the pieces after the rough nights.

"Only for a few weeks," She assured her mother who looked like she was on the verge of tears; her self-centeredness had thankfully given Amanda a few moments reprieve from the pain she was feeling, "John will no doubt come by a lot. When he does just tell him I went to stay with friends or something but don't, under any circumstances, tell him where I really am."

##

True to her word Nana had a plate of food and a hot bath waiting for her. She'd given her the key to the apartment and invited her to stay for as long as she wanted. Amanda had made her way up the back stairs and to the front door by herself. She unlocked the apartment and opened the door to reveal a small, well-furnished studio apartment complete with a full kitchen and a full sized bathroom boasting a cast iron claw foot tub. She dropped her suitcase in the single closet and fell into the large bed that had been outfitted with fresh sheets.

In any other situation she would be over the moon about staying with Nana for the first time in years. The kitchen had been well stocked just before she'd arrived on foot, the closet was devoid of Corrine's things, the soaps in the bathroom were brand new and the place was spotless.

But without John what did any of that matter?

Amanda clutched her stomach and groaned in tangible pain at the overwhelming emotions that continued to wrack her. All the things he'd said, all the progress they'd made together… all felt like it was for nothing. She'd introduced him to her prostitute mother despite her trepidation and hesitancy. She'd given him everything she had to give, including her body. And this was how it ended… with him wearing the gift another girl had given him out of love.

Amanda groaned and un-tucked the blankets, pulling them over her head and closing her eyes; trying desperately to staunch the pain. Hoping against all rational hope that sleep would help.


	15. Chapter 15

** Two weeks later**

She'd hardly eaten. She rarely slept. She no longer made idle conversation with those around her at work. All she did was work and lay in bed. She'd wake up at six and immediately dress herself in her work uniform and attend her job until she tired of it, usually midnight or later. She knew she looked like hell and that she needed to get over him, she needed to return to normal and hopefully go back to school and graduate but the prospect looked bleak.

Barry had taken to forcing food upon her. Cooking up all her favorites and laying them before her, tempting her. Amanda would eat the minimal amount then return to work. She'd never made so much money in her whole life but at the same time she'd never been so devoid of a life.

She lay in bed, tossing and turning; chasing that glimmer of sleep that had been evading her for weeks. But once she grabbed hold of it she'd keep it solidly until her dreams woke her.

Tonight was no different.

Her and John sat in the middle of her room, him buried deeply within her and she with her arms wrapped around his shoulders; feeling happiness for the first time in a long time. He would slowly move in and out making her moan and cry out for him.

"I love you Mandy." He whispered against her neck, moving his lips upwards he trailed kisses along her skin until they landed on her lips and his tongue plunged inside of her. She moaned and ground herself down onto him further, his cock buried so deep she swore she felt it touch her navel. In her dreams there was only love; there was no Claire, no diamond earrings, no anger and no fighting. John was perfect and Amanda was happy. He moved in and out of her slowly, achingly, his lips kissing and nipping at her neck like he loved to do. Her hands were buried in his soft, long hair as she held him against her, begging him to go faster. He stood and slammed Amanda into the nearest wall; his lustful temper flaring at her pleads.

"You want more?" he asked, sliding out of her until just the head was inside of her. Amanda cried out, begging for him to fuck her harder. John smiled and rammed himself deeply within her, making her shutter and scream. She anchored her legs around his hips when he grabbed her hands and held them above her head so he could piston harder and faster in and out of her wet heat. Amanda screamed when he bit down on the juncture where her neck and shoulder met, reveling in the pain intertwining with the pleasure.

"I want everything you have to give." She hissed in his ear, making him growl and slam into her roughly. Amanda cried out at her fast approaching orgasm; sparks of wild pleasure zinged through her with lightning speed tightening around her spine and exploding in her belly.

"And you'll get it." He promised, dropping his head to kiss down her chest to her breast, taking a nipple into his mouth he sucked and nibbled the hard peak lightly until she was hoarse from screaming.

Her bliss was peaking, her orgasm rushing upon her with a frightening intensity that made her shutter and tense with anticipation. John groaned and tensed as well, his thrusts becoming erratic and unsteady.

Then the phone rang.

Amanda was yanked from her blissful rest, the first good sleep she'd gotten in days, by the shrill ringing of the old rotary phone that sat on the kitchen counter. Groaning she stood and limped her way over to the phone, lifting the receiver off the hook she muttered a groggy, "Hello?"

"Hey baby girl." Her mom announced on the other end. Amanda groaned and sat on the barstool, rubbing her eyes.

"Hey mom, what's up?" she asked. Her mom began prattling on and on about a guy she met and how finding a respectable job was difficult and how the upkeep in the apartment was falling to the wayside; the whole time Amanda sat there forcing herself to stay awake.

"That's great mom." She muttered a generic response.

"John's been coming by a lot." This made Amanda perk up minimally, any mention of him made her automatically smile before she felt grief overcome her.

Old habits die hard.

"Speak of the devil and he shall appear," Amanda muttered, referring to her dream, "how's that going?" she asked.

"Did you know he can grow facial hair?!" her mom laughed.

"I'm sure he can; why is this even relevant?" Amanda demanded, suddenly angry at thinking about John more than necessary.

"He isn't shaving," no shit, "he's really worried about you Mandy. He comes by every day looking for you; he always looks like he's been crying or something. He's got a lot of bruises on his arms too." No doubt he had been picking fights with his father. Amanda groaned in pain and slammed her fist on the counter.

"Well I don't want to see him!" she shouted, lying through her teeth. She wanted nothing more than to be with John, to have him holding her and loving her but that wasn't possible if he still harbored feelings about Claire.

"I think you should at least talk to the guy for crying out loud Mandy! He's worried sick about you! I talked to him the other day when he stopped by, brought him inside and had a right proper talk with him. He has no idea why you're mad at him, why you ran off in the middle of class and never re-appeared. He really loves you baby girl…" her mom sounded so painfully sad as she relayed the story to Amanda whose fury was growing with every word.

"Well if he loves me so much he would forget about her!" she screamed into the phone and slammed in down on the hook. Running her hands through her hair she took a few deep breaths and tried to calm herself down. She knew she was being completely irrational and a complete jerk but she couldn't stop herself; why did he have to go and hurt her like he did?

"Amanda?" She heard Nana call out from the other side of the door, knocking lightly. She immediately felt bad for screaming like she did and rushed to the door, apology on hand.

"Nana I'm sorry I yelled." She apologized as she opened the door. Nana stood there in her work uniform smiling at Amanda.

"Oh I'm not here about that." She reached out and rubbed her shoulder reassuringly. Amanda leaned into the gesture and took a deep breath, loving how this woman could make her feel so at ease.

"I'll be down in just a moment Nana, let me get dressed and I'll get straight to work." She promised and made to go to the closet to retrieve her uniform.

"Okay baby. I just wanted to let you know there's someone here to see you." Amanda felt dread pierce her stomach.

"It's not…" she began.

"No baby it's not him, it's a different boy; says he wants to talk to you." She smiled and told her to take her time, making her way to the stairs. Amanda ran and pulled on her uniform as fast as she could, she brushed her teeth and yanked a hairbrush through her hair before rushing to the door and down the stairs.

She rounded the corner of the bar and saw the singular patron sitting at the furthest booth wearing a letterman's jacket and blue jeans. Amanda wondered what a wrestler would want to speak with her about. She walked over to the boy who stood arrogantly and watched her walk to him.

"Amanda?" he asked with a surprising niceness the contradicted his stance.

"Yes." She held her hand out and he shook it firmly.

"Can I talk to you?" dread was building up inside of her; she'd come to hate that question.

"Absolutely." She agreed and sat down at the booth. He took the seat opposite of her and tapped the table anxiously.

"I'm Andrew by the way."


	16. Chapter 16

**A special thanks to GACfan4life and helinahandcart for following this story and reviewing so nicely. I appreciate it so very much!**

"Um… hi?" she cocked her head, confused as to why this boy she'd never met before suddenly wanted to talk to her. He looked mildly uncomfortable as he sat staring at her as if unable to find the words to say what he had to say, "Can I get you anything? Coffee?" She offered as a means of breaking the ice.

"I don't drink coffee, the caffeine makes me jittery." He shot down her offer like it was preposterous she would even consider it. Amanda was taken aback slightly by his abrasiveness but she shrugged it off.

"You're a wrestler right?" she asked, he nodded slowly, hesitantly, "we have milk." She offered, smiling warmly. He chuckled slightly and took her up on her offer. Amanda stood, happy to get away from the tense situation he'd created. She walked back into the kitchen where Barry was cleaning up in preparation for the dayshift. Grabbing a glass she filled it with whole milk, also preparing a cup of coffee for herself. As she walked back to the table she noticed he'd removed his letterman's jacket and was now wearing a blue sweatshirt; this boy practically bled school colors.

"Here you go," She sat down the glass of milk in front of him and took her seat across from him. He lifted the glass and drank half of its contents in one large gulp, "if you don't mind me asking; why are you here to talk to me, I mean I've never met you before." She felt like she was being rude but she tried to limit her conversations about John and this boy was making that difficult. He lowered the glass and looked at her blankly.

"John's been acting like a complete asshole these past two weeks." He declared matter-of-factly. Amanda tried her best to stifle the laugh that was threatening to burst out of her mouth at his frankness.

"Then nothing's changed." Andrew smiled at this and nodded.

"Allison and him have been talking and they asked me if I'd talk to you because you don't know me and they knew you wouldn't talk to either one of them." Well they'd gotten one thing right, she didn't have any intentions to speak to John, Allison or Claire ever again.

"Well it worked so talk." She responded venomously, angry that she'd let herself fall for their conniving plan to get answers out of her.

"What happened?" he asked, looking like he didn't want to be here anymore than she did.

"Claire spoke with me and told me about what happened that Saturday in detention and I looked to see John was still wearing the earring she'd given him. Case closed. He screwed me, told me he loved me and then it turns out he was wearing her pathetic token of love the whole time," She felt her angry resolving crumbling at the re-living of the situation, "are you honestly going to deny any of that?" she wiped her eyes and glared at him.

"No. I'm going to clear the air because I'm fucking sick of John being at school every day and I'm sick of being asked to do shit I don't want to do." He snarled at her.

"Then clear the air." She demanded, desperate to get this over and done with.

"I was in detention with them. It was me, John, Claire, Ally and a boy names Brian. I won't deny that they kissed and they liked each other but there was no love there. Claire is a manipulative, vindictive bitch who will walk over any one to get what she wants. In that moment she wanted John, but only for a moment. All you girls get hot and heavy over the bad boy; she was no different. Once she'd gotten what she wanted she dropped him like he was nothing. That's it." Amanda was shocked at the simplicity of the situation; it sounded much like what John had told her had happened.

"Then why did she tell me he still loves her? Why was he wearing her earring?" Amanda chocked out, near to bursting with depression. She'd lost a whole two weeks with John because that horrendous bitch lied to her; but at the same time John had been wearing the earring she'd given him.

"She told you that because she didn't want him anymore but she also didn't want anyone else to have him. It's some crazy girl thing. As for the earring I don't know; you're gonna have to talk to John about that." They sat there looking at each other for a few moments, Amanda unable to fully grasp what he's said to her and Andrew waiting for her confirmation that she'd talk to him and end this madness.

"Why did you come here? Just because they asked you to talk to me doesn't mean you have to." She asked; hoping to turn the subject from her and John. Andrew stood and shrugged his letterman's jacket on, grabbing his backpack as well.

"Because I love Allison and it's time I showed it. I'd do anything for her and it kills her to see John in pain so I came to fix that. Not for you and certainly not for John, but for Ally." He confessed and walked out the door, leaving Amanda gaping in a confused stupor.

##

** 2 a.m.**

Amanda groaned as she ascended the stairs to her apartment; her feet were no doubt blistered and her legs felt like they were made of Jell-O. After her meeting with Andrew this morning she'd been a tense, busy mess the entire shift; unable to wrap her head around what was said. She hadn't come up with a way of contacting John, although she knew she wouldn't have to try very hard seeing as how he was actively seeking her out. And she was even further with a game plan on what to say to him when they finally spoke.

She peeled off her work uniform and grabbed one of Corrine's silk robes she'd left in the dresser. Shrugging it on over her underwear she flopped down onto the bed and closed her eyes, replaying everything Andrew had told her earlier. Sleep was quickly overcoming her and she welcomed it wholeheartedly until the obnoxious phone rang fifteen minutes into her light slumber. She groaned and stood, walking over to it and lifting the receiver off the hook.

"If this isn't an emergency I swear to god…" she began.

"Baby girl it's an emergency." Barry told her from down in the kitchen. She perked up instantly, her heart rate increasing and her breathing becoming erratic.

"What is it?" she asked, panicked.

"Carl got into a fight and they're taking it outside." He told her through the audible yelling in the background.

"Who is it with?" she demanded, yanking on her Converse and grabbing the baseball bat from the closet. They had one down stairs that they'd use for unruly customers merely as a threat but she thought it better to grab the nearest one to better enable her to make a beeline for the front door.

"It's John."


	17. Chapter 17

Amanda's heart sunk and she dropped the phone, not bothering to hang it up, just dropping it onto the floor and booking it out the door. She took the stairs two by two until she reached the bottom, slipping slightly on the slick kitchen floor. Barry stood there with the kitchen phone still in his hands looking shocked at the speed with which she arrived. Amanda paid him no mind as she hoisted the bat onto her shoulder and stormed out of the kitchen to the front door. Not five feet away John and Carl were yelling and taking swings at each other in the middle of the road. Amanda rushed up to Carl who had his back turned and was shouting at John about 'fucking with the wrong person.' Amanda could tell he was high as a kite unfortunately; he wouldn't act like this for any other reason. Even when John had punched him he still hadn't been _this_ violently belligerent. Amanda lifted the bat from her shoulder and nudged Carl in the back with the tip.

"Get the fuck away from him Carl!" She shouted angrily. Both men stopped their fighting and looked at her, Carl turning and John stepping to the side to look around him. Carl stood stock still at the view of the bat poised in his direction, knowing Amanda wouldn't hesitate to use force if it was necessary.

"Calm down Mandy," He raised his hands and looked at her down the length of the bat, "we were just having a disagreement is all." He explained half-assed. She surveyed both of them; they both had bloody noses, split lips, blackening eyes and Carl was missing a tooth. Secretly she was proud of John for somewhat winning the fight but she dared not convey that.

"Doesn't look like a disagreement to me," she contradicted, "Carl go home, you're high. John…" she trailed off, unsure of what to say. John smiled goofily at her, his mouth full of blood that dripped down out of the corners of his smile and got caught in his facial hair. She rolled her eyes and looked back at Carl who was glaring at her angrily.

"He shouldn't have shown his face here." Carl told her as if it made everything better.

"It's his right to go anywhere he damn well pleases; he shouldn't have to worry about getting assaulted by anyone." She snarled at him and nodded for him to leave. Carl turned with a grunt and made to walk past John and away from the scene until John laughed and Carl turned, pulling his fist back she shot if forward and nailed J0hn on the cheek hard enough for John's head to snap back. Amanda lunged forward and cracked the bat against the back of Carl's knee, making him cry out and fall forward. Amanda lifted the bat high, aimed behind her head so she could make an arcing swing in case need be.

"Get the fuck out of here!" she screamed at him and raised the bat a little more to emphasize her point. Carl jumped to his feet as best he could and limped away from the scene slowly. Amanda dropped the bat as soon as he was out of their sight and turned to John who was sitting on the ground laughing and holding his face.

"What the hell is going on?" she demanded, reaching down to wrap her arms around John's torso and help him with standing. He smiled and leaned into her, nearly tipping her over with the fifty plus pounds he had on her.

"I came to see you baby!" he laughed, dribbling blood. The thick scent of alcohol on his breath nearly knocked Amanda off her feet; this wasn't the smell of three beers, it was more like ten beers and ten mixed drinks. He was laughing and smiling the whole way to the door; his arms wrapping around her and holding her close, making it incredibly difficult for her to walk them into the diner.

"Mmm… I missed you so much Mandy…" he slurred as she awkwardly opened the door to the diner with little to no help from him. Her hand shot up and covered his mouth so he didn't say anything inappropriate in front of the patrons who were staring at them. She walked them through the dining room and kitchen as fast as she could; ignoring the disappointed looks Barry was shooting their way. Amanda took the stairs in front of him; walking up them backwards she had her arms under his and was dragging him up the steps.

"I missed your kisses, I missed your smile," he started again, making her roll her eyes, "I missed holding you close… I missed fucking your tight pussy." He laughed at that and Amanda dropped him once they reached the tops of the steps, John falling in an undignified heap to the floor. Amanda scoffed and walked to her apartment door, opening it so she could drag him in. John was rolling around on the ground laughing, all too amused with himself and what he had said.

"You're drunk as a skunk John and you're acting like a fucking idiot." She snarled at him and grabbed his arms. Lifting him she walked them through the door of her apartment and to the couch where she dropped him onto its soft padding. She walked back to the door and closed it, engaging all the locks. She picked the phone up from the floor and returned it to its hook, pulling her shoes off as she went. John was still laughing hysterically on her sofa. She walked to the kitchen and pulled a glass from the cabinet and filled it with hot water from the tap. Throwing in a spoonful of salt she walked to the bathroom and set it down on the sink. She walked back out to the living room and grabbed John, helping him to stand she walked him to the bathroom supporting most of his weight. She dropped him down by the toilet and began running a warm bath. She grabbed the cup of salt water and handed it to him.

"Drink this." She told him, lifting the lid of the toilet. John complied happily and down the whole mixture. Amanda cringed and tensed, knowing what was next. John sighed, set the glass down on the floor and smiled up at Amanda before his face turned sour and he launched himself towards the toilet bowl. Amanda covered her ears as he threw up all the alcohol. She felt bad but she knew it was the only way to get him sober fast. When he was finished he flushed the toilet and leaned against the tub, gasping and groaning; no longer inebriated. Vomiting when drunk is strange in the way that it makes all the symptoms disappear almost instantly.

"Let's get you in the bath." She offered and he nodded. Standing on his own, albeit somewhat wobbly, he undid his pants and lifted his shirt. Amanda turned away, her emotions finally catching up with her now that the hype was dying down. The depression she'd been plagued with was back a vengeance at being so near to him along with the desire she'd been experiencing to be close to him again. It was all horribly conflicting.

He stepped out of his boots and stepped into the full tub. Leaning forward he turned the knob and shut the water off then leaned back and closed his eyes.

"Hey." He muttered after a few minutes of sitting in silence. Amanda lifted her head from her knees that she'd been resting it on and looked at him; tears welling in her eyes at the sight of him. He was bruised from his chest to his arms and his face along with having a split lip and bloody nose. Amanda reached into the cabinet under the sink and pulled out a washcloth along with a small stool. She sat at the edge of the tub by John's head and dunked the cloth in the water that was turning pink from blood. Lifting the soaking cloth she gently dabbed the dried blood that had caked up in John's new facial hair and down his neck. He closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the wall, his hand coming up to grab hers and lifted it to his lips, placing a small gentle kiss on her knuckles.

"Hi." She whispered shakily, unable to hold back her tears. His eyes opened at her sobs she had been trying to control. He leaned forward and wrapped his wet arms around her, thoroughly soaking the robe. Amanda began sobbing harder at his warm embrace, dropping the cloth she threw her arms around him and cried into his shoulder. They held each other tightly like that until he released her and began untying her robe. Amanda sat there and let him undo the bow she'd tied to keep the robe closed. Once it was released he gently pushed the material from her shoulders and grabbed her bare upper arms, tugging her towards the tub. She stood and stepped into the tub; still wearing her panties and bra but paying no mind to it. She settled into the water between his legs and placed her hands against his chest.

"Why did you leave?" he asked. Amanda shook her head and bit her lip, not wanting to think about what happened. He grabbed her chin roughly and forced her to look at him; refusing to take no for an answer.

"Claire told me I was a rebound from her," she confessed, lifting her hand she tucked his hair behind his left ear, revealing his bare earlobe, "she said if you were wearing the earring that you still loved her and I believed that." John looked furious and overwhelmingly sad at the same time.

"I don't love her." he ground out.

"Then why were you wearing it?" She asked, still unable to justify it in her mind.

"It wasn't hers; it belongs to my cousin who died. She knew I was wearing it and she used that to trick you. I threw away the one she gave me." He snarled. Amanda immediately felt even more depressed at thinking it was the same earring but how could she have known?

"I'm sorry; I thought it was the one she gave you." She backpedaled quickly; her heart breaking at the knowledge that this two week exile was completely unnecessary and based upon misunderstanding.

"You could have just talked to me." He spoke her thoughts aloud. She dropped her head and stared at his chest, unable to look him in the eye from how foolish she felt.

"I know. I was hurt." She muttered, fully prepared for the anger she knew was coming. He propped his elbow on the edge of the tub and rubbed his forehead agitatedly.

"If you would have just talked to me none of this would have happened!" he shouted finally, making Amanda jump. She scooted back until she hit the end of the tub, making the water splash over the edges. His hand shot out and gripped her upper arm roughly; yanking her back towards him.

"I don't think you understand what this was like. I fucking lost you Mandy! You became my whole life and suddenly you were gone!" he shouted at her, gripping her arm hard enough to bruise, "how could you do that to me?! Don't you have any faith in us?!" he was getting angrier and angrier with every word. He forcefully released her arm and stood; stepping out of the tub he grabbed his pants and yanked them onto his dripping wet legs. Amanda followed and pulled on the robe when she left the tub. He stormed out of the door and paced around the kitchen, leaving her standing in the bathroom doorway biting her thumb nail anxiously. His anger was completely warranted and she knew that but she couldn't help worrying that he might hurt her.

"GODDAMN IT MANDY!" he shouted and grabbed the phone. Ripping the cord from the phone jack in the wall he threw it across the room where it hit the wall and smashed into pieces. Amanda jumped and gasped, real fear piercing her.

"John stop, please. Everything's okay now; I'm here." She offered. He turned and glared at her; his anger in no way assuaged. He continued pacing and swearing for the better half of ten minutes before he still suddenly and turned towards her, his eyes darkening. Amanda held her breath as he rushed her; she refused to back away or retreat into the bathroom. His hand shot up and grabbed her jaw painfully hard, his nails digging into her skin hard enough to draw blood. He pulled her away from the doorway by her jaw and pressed her up against the wall, his face coming in close enough for their noses to be touching.

"Don't you trust me?" he asked evilly. Amanda nodded slowly and bit her lip nervously. His eyes shot down to watch her teeth grip her plump lower lip enticingly, making him grow hard. But he refused to act upon that when he was mad; but angry makeup sex wouldn't be such a horrible thing…

"You're scaring me John." She muttered breathily. He stilled at this; his heart skipping a few beats and his breathing hitching. He hadn't realized how dangerously angry he was and how un-used to it she was; anyone else would have called him out on it and would have been unfazed. He quickly released her and took a deep breath, pressing his palm against the wall beside her head.

"I'm sorry." He whispered, pressing their foreheads together.

"It's okay." She assured him despite the small trails of blood running down her neck from the wounds he'd inflicted.

"I can't lose you again." He pleaded, tears forming in his eyes making Amanda raise her eyebrows in surprise, she didn't know John cried.

For her he did.

"You won't; I promise," She reached out and wrapped her arms around his waist, he moved his head away from hers so she could press it against his chest, kissing his heated skin gently, "you're stuck with me as long as you'll have me." She promised. He pushed himself away from the wall to envelope her in his large arms, kissing the top of her head.

"I want to have you forever," he confessed honestly, "being without you these past two weeks has shown me how much I really love you and it scares me Mandy." He continued, his hands rubbing her back.

"I love you too John; it's killed me every minute I've been away from you." She responded.

"It's made me realize how much I don't want to lose you." He told her. She nodded in agreement and pressed her face harder against his chest, tears falling faster.

"Please don't get angry like that again John; you really scared me." She begged. Guilt swamped him at her tearful plea and he separated himself from her so he could look her in the eye.

"I'm sorry I got so angry; I just couldn't handle the reality of why we'd been apart and how preventable it was." He told her honestly.

"I know…" she muttered, still feeling ashamed. He slowly walked them from beside the bathroom door over to the bed; pulling her down into it with him he wrapped his arms around her and held her against his chest. Amanda sighed happily at feeling his warm embrace once again; she hadn't realized the intensity with which she'd missed him.

John waited until she was snoring lightly, making him smile as he recalled the first day they met; how she was snoring in class and drooling on her paper. He knew that day that she was different; she'd taken up his offer to sit by him, hadn't shrunk away when he'd harassed her, stood up to him when he needed it… how they ended up kissing in the library after being yelled at by Vernon. His arms constricted around her; wanting to hold her as close as humanly possible for fear of losing her again.

"Amanda…" he muttered kissing the top of her head and smoothing her hair down so it was out of his face, "I'm going to marry you if it's the last thing I ever do."

**Let me know what you think! :) a million hugs and kisses! **


	18. Chapter 18

**Thank you for the constructive review helinahandcart, I really appreciate it! :)**

**Sexy time about to ensue!**

"Mandy…" John whispered and kissed her cheek gently, enjoying the way the sunlight lit up her soft features. His hand came up and stroked her cheek gently; relishing in the feeling of her warm skin after having worried he'd never feel it again.

She groaned slightly and shifted, rubbing her eyes and adjusting the pillow for comfort. John smiled and crawled up her sleeping form until he was braced above her. Lowering his face he kissed her neck gently until she stirred and shoved at him.

"What?" she snarled angrily, hating being woken up so early.

"It's time for school." He shook the bed beneath her until her eyes shot open and she glared at him.

"Fuck off." She smiled. He laughed and hoisted himself away from her; jumping onto the ground energetically. She groaned and yanked the pillow he'd been using over her face, agitated at all the noise he was making. He stomped to the bathroom and retrieved his shirt along with his boots. Throwing the shirt over his head he yanked it down and dropped his boots on the floor before stomping back over to her.

"I might be a lost cause for school but I'll be damned if you fuck up your chance anymore." He declared before swooping down and grabbed her by the waist and hoisted her from the bed onto his shoulder. Amanda screamed at the sudden action and hit at his broad back she loved so much.

"You stink, let's get you in the shower." He declared jokingly.

##

They headed their separate ways to their lockers only for Amanda to find Allison standing in front of hers. She groaned and rubbed her forehead as she made her way to her small storage unit; not looking forward to anymore talking with anyone.

"Allison," She greeted curtly. Allison shifted slightly so Amanda could get to her locker but kept her glaring eyes pointed directly at Amanda the whole time, "how can I help you?" she asked, fiddling with her combination lock.

"Does John know you're back?" she asked suddenly. Amanda finally remembered the combination and ripped open her locker angrily, scowling at her.

"Why don't you just talk to him yourself since you two are buddy buddy," She hit her closed fists together to emphasize their relationship. Allison rolled her eyes and ran her hand through her dark hair, "while you're at it go talk to Andrew." She turned back to her locker and pulled out her English books that must have been replaced for her by one of the faculty administrators that knew everyone's locker combinations. She finally slammed the door closed and placed her hand on her hip to show her agitation with Allison who was still standing there staring at her. Eventually she gave up and left just before John showed up with a folder full of papers which made Amanda's jaw drop sarcastically.

"Wow… have you actually been… doing work?" she gasped and clutched at her chest to feign shock. He laughed and nudged her playful before handing her the folder. She opened it to find pages and pages of notes.

"What's this?" she inquired, looking up at him through her eyelashes.

"Notes."

"No shit; why are you giving them to me?" she smiled amusedly.

"I took notes for you in all the classes we have together." He told her. She was genuinely surprised at this; John hadn't done a lick of school work the whole time she'd known him so it was safe to bet he'd never taken notes. The fact that he'd do it for her made her heart ache slightly. He was looking at the floor like he didn't know what else to say. She finally shut the folder and hugged him tightly, pressing her face to his chest and kissing it. He hugged her back, surprised at her sudden display of affection.

"Thank you John." She told him earnestly. He kissed the top of her head and smiled at how loving she was being.

"Anything for you baby." She turned her head and smiled up at him, standing on her tiptoes she placed a kiss on his lips. They separated and walked to class together hand in hand.

##

She fell asleep in the middle of class again. John was sitting in his usual pose with his legs propped up on the table except this time instead of his hands behind his head or clasped over his stomach he had one on Amanda's lower back. Her arms were crossed beneath her head as a sort of pillow and she was snoring gently, drooling on the table much like she had the first day they'd met. John sat there watching her sleep peacefully when a though occurred to him. Leaning forward he tugged on a piece of her hair gently until her eyes shot open, his lips ghosted over her ear gently.

"Feel like being naughty?" he teased, rubbing her back. She moaned slightly and shifted, giving him a look like he was crazy. His tongue darted out and licked the shell of her ear so lightly she shivered and clenched her fists; reigning in her desire to grab him and kiss him right there.

"I know you do." She smiled. He nipped her earlobe and kissed the tender spot just beneath it; making her moan harder.

"After class meet me in the old locker room; downstairs past the new locker rooms." He pulled away and left her to digest his proposition.

She sat there staring at the table for the rest of the class period. She'd never had butterflies in her stomach this overwhelming before; it felt liberating to even be considering something that bad.

The bell finally rang and John immediately stood, walking around her he tapped the table and walked out. Amanda took a deep breath and stood; following him from a distance until they reached the stairs, then she stood back and waited for him to descend, not wanting to make it obvious she was following him.

She waited until the hallway was devoid of students and the next bell was seconds from ringing before she rushed down the stairs, through the eerily silent hallway and stopped in front of a battered door with an old sign saying 'men's locker room.' It was easy to distinguish the old from the new; the new one was quite a ways down the hall with a fresh sign and a shiny coat of paint whereas this one had peeling paint and a worn sign.

She pushed the door open to reveal a mostly dark room that smelled of cleaning products; no doubt they were renovating it to be used as something entirely different seeing as how there were no longer any lockers just tables taking up space. She closed the door behind her and locked it. Dropping her bag she turned slowly before a pair of hands grabbed her and whipped her around, shoving her against the closed door. John's lips were immediately upon her, his tongue forcing its way into her mouth and his hands going to her hair, fisting the strands roughly in his fingers. Amanda moaned against his invasive mouth and grabbed at his flannel, pulling him against her roughly. He grunted and moved his hands from her hair to her jacket, yanking it off her shoulders.

Amanda gripped his flannel by the collar and tugged it off him as well. Her fingers made quick work of his pants once she'd gotten him down to just his t-shirt. He pushed her hands away and undid his pants faster than she could have, shoving them down his legs. She reached out and took him in her hand, loving the sounds me made as she gripped him; his mouth falling open and a gasp falling from his lips when her hand squeezed and she pulled upward along his rigid length. He grabbed the closure of her pants and fumbled with the button until she pushed his hands away and fell to her knees before him. John couldn't believe what she was about to do and how goddamn sexy she looked doing it, her eyes growing large as she stared at his hard erection inches from her lips. She leaned forward minimally, her tongue darting out to lick the head of his cock. John groaned at the sensation rocketing through him from her inexperienced prodding; her innocence combined with her bravery made him ready to burst at just the thought.

"Amanda…" he groaned when she wrapped her lips around the head and sucked gently. He grunted and jerked towards her, making her gasp and disengage her lips from surprise, looking up at him, "don't tease." He smiled down at her wickedly and gently grabbed her head, guiding her lips back to him. She bravely took him into her mouth and began moving, sucking and licking as she went. John moaned and fisted his hands in her hair; unable to process the sensations she was evoking within him. She continued on like this, sucking and licking, until he pulled her head away from his painfully hard erection, unable to hold himself back if she continued like she was.

Lifting her by the arms he pressed her against the door and finally undid her pants, yanking them down her legs along with her panties. He kissed his way up her legs before standing and staring down at her intensely; knowing full well he was intimidating her.

"John…" she fidgeted and grabbed at his hips, pulling him forward until his cock touched her belly. She groaned and looked up at him desperately; he smiled and picked her up, she wrapped her legs around his waist and positioned herself above him. Holding her against the door he let her slide down slowly until she was fully impaled upon him. Amanda cried out at the ecstasy blazing through her, igniting her nerves and making her toes tingle. She'd missed the feeling of him inside of her.

"Jesus Christ Mandy…" he grunted and slammed his palm against the door. Slowly, maddeningly he began moving in and out of her. Amanda moaned loudly, begging him to go faster. He leaned forward and bit her neck harshly; picking up speed minutely. Amanda cried out each time he thrust into her fully.

"Oh my god John…" she retorted to his previous declaration. It felt ten times as good knowing they oculd get caught at any moment; it felt bad, like the naughtiest thing one could do.

"Being bad feels fucking amazing." John muttered, slamming into her so hard she screamed. His hand went to cover her mouth so he could continue pistoning in and out of her savagely; so focused on making her feel good.

Amanda screamed and bit into his palm when her orgasm rushed upon her surprisingly. John stilled and groaned in her at the sensation of her wet heat pulsing around him. He wanted her to come at least once more before he would let himself go.

He slammed in and out of her as fast as he could; focusing all his energy into making her scream again. He wished he could uncover her mouth and bask in her cries but he didn't want to give anyone a reason to enter this abandoned room. Amanda screamed out once more, coming around him harder this time. John thrust twice more before groaning and releasing himself within her; fisting his hand at the painfully delicious sensations coursing through him.

They stood there, John still deep within her, breathing roughly for the better part of ten minutes before he kissed her gently and pulled out much to her dismay.

She was pulling her pants up, focusing on not falling over when suddenly his face was directly below hers. She stopped and stared at him; noticing he was on one knee.

"What the heck?" she started before realizing what he was doing; then she felt faint. He pulled a small box out from the pocket of his pants that were still on the floor and presented it to her; opening it up to reveal a small sapphire ring.

"Will you marry me Mandy?"

**;) let me know what you think!**


	19. Chapter 19

**Thank you for the reviews, follows and favorites! They are all appreciated but reviews are the best way to let me know how you're feeling about the story. **

**More sexy time! **

"Are you serious?" she whispered, unable to believe that this was happening to her. She stared down at the thin silver ring that was topped off with a sizeable sapphire that made her wonder how he'd gotten the money to buy this.

She sincerely hoped he hadn't used his 'get away from home' money.

"I've never been more serious about anything Mandy." He told her earnestly, looking up at her with sheer nervousness marring his beautiful features. She could tell he desperately wanted her to say yes but she wasn't sure it was the right thing to say… but then again she wasn't sure if she cared about the consequences.

Biting her lip she smiled and threw caution to the wind. Flinging herself into his arms she screamed, "YES!" John grabbed her and fell back against the floor from the momentum of her throwing herself against him. He was hardly able to contain his excitement at her agreeing to be his wife; it was more than he could have ever hoped for in life, to find someone he loved who loved him back and wanted to spend her life with him. She pulled her head back and beamed at him, pressing her lips against his happily. John kissed her back lovingly and pried her left hand from his shoulder. She pulled her face away from his and watched him slip the ring onto her finger; smiling as he did so.

"Oh my god I'm engaged…" she whispered to herself, looking up at him amazedly. She could scarcely believe this was actually happening to her of all people; she finally had someone in her life besides her mom. She finally had a real home in Shermer Illinois of all places. There was someone out there that loved her and was willing to take a chance on her and her flighty ways.

"We're engaged…" John whispered breathily, unable to believe it himself. He adjusted them so he was sitting cross legged with her cradled in his lap, holding her tightly against him as though he was scared he would lose her if he didn't hold her as close as possible. This was the best outcome he could have hoped for; her excitement and jubilation at the prospect of becoming his wife. Even more surprising was his elation at becoming her husband; foregoing the laundry list of girls that were simply his flavor of the month, becoming a one-woman man had scared him before but with her it sounded like heaven.

The enormity of what he was willing to give up wasn't lost on Amanda; it showed in her eyes how much she loved and appreciated what he was doing for her as she peered up at him so lovingly it made John ache. He liked the way the ring looked on her finger… the way _his _ring looked on her finger.

His hand slowly drifted up her hip where he'd been holding her and landed on her cheek softly. Rubbing her bottom lip with his thumb he exhaled deeply and steeled himself against the onslaught of thoughts assaulting him; images of bending her over the table and fucking her until she screamed… of making love to his future wife, that thought alone had him physically holding himself back from lifting her and pushing her against the nearest surface

"John…" she whispered, still in awe of what was happening. She was so distracted with thoughts of houses and children that she neglected to notice his eyes darkening and tense muscles that relayed his obvious struggle; so when he gripped her jaw harshly and slammed his lips against hers she was taken completely aback at the surprise assault.

Although she wasn't complaining.

It made her stomach knot, the idea of making love to her future husband. She kissed him back fervently; desperate to feel as much of him as humanly possible. She felt him rising against her hip, having completely forgotten he was still sans clothing. His hand moved from her face to her legs, pushing her off and helping her to stand with him. He stood and took the full ten inches he had on her to his advantage, yanking her against him and angling his head downwards so he could dominate the kiss by smashing his lips savagely against hers.

He grabbed her wrists and twisted her around so she was facing away from him, successfully disengaging their kiss. Amanda moaned in excitement at how he knew exactly what he wanted and how to get it.

"Again? So soon?" she laughed at her use of that phrase yet again since she'd used it at his house. His hand gripped her shoulder roughly and shoved her down over the table. His other hand went to the closure at the front of her pants and undid the button easily, yanking the material down along with her underwear. He tapped the back up her right knee, indicating for her to lift her leg and step out of the pants. His fingers slowly ran up her legs, followed by his tongue making her shiver and moan. He nipped the back of her knees gently and continued upward until he reached her butt and gave it a final bite before standing and pressing himself against her, letting her know how hard he was.

"Are you worried?" he teased, rubbing his thick cock head against her wet entrance. She moaned and pushed herself back to try and gain friction but he simply shot his hands out and grabbed the back of her neck, holding her exactly where she was.

"That I might not be able to come again so soon yeah…" she answered desperately. He chuckled darkly and pressed himself harder against her so he was just barely entering her fevered core.

"I take that as a challenge." He growled and shoved himself fully into her. Amanda cried out loudly at the barrage of sensations flanking her from all sides, his thickness made her burn slightly combined with the friction he caused making her tingle and shutter. He grunted and leaned over her back, counting downwards from ten in an attempt to keep his orgasm at bay. The fact that she agreed to marry him combined with the position they were in and how she always made him feel made it exceedingly difficult to reign himself in, something he'd always prided himself on being able to do. She felt heaven.

"Mandy… you feel so fucking good." He muttered, kissing her neck gently. He knew he was being a little bit rough with her but she seemed to be taking it well if her moans were anything to go by.

He pushed himself up off of her and slid out inch by inch, dragging out her moans until he was almost entirely removed; then he ground his teeth and slammed back in roughly, making her scream. He quickly moved his hand from the back of her neck to her mouth, covering her cries like he usually had to do. He loved that she was a screamer and wished he could let it be heard in its full glory.

He kept a tight hold on her mouth much to her excitement as he began thrusting in and out of her so powerfully the entire table shook and wobbled. She bit into his palm as the barbs of orgasm inducing bliss tightened around her stomach and spine, making her weak and wobbly. Every thrust of his impossibly hard cock pushed her closer and closer to that dark, tempting precipice that she'd only just recently discovered with him. It felt entirely too thrilling to be with someone as experienced as him and knowing that he knew exactly what to do to make her melt was all the more exhilarating.

Amanda tensed as her orgasm rushed her in a wave of blinding white light, firing along her nerves and exploding in her stomach until it was all she could do to remain upright. John thrust in and out a few more times before finally giving in and succumbing to his own pleasure.

"My wife…" he whispered, knowing full well it was premature but still loving the way it sounded.

"My husband." She whispered back.

Everything was perfect.

**No getting comfortable now ;) Let me know what you think! XOXO**


	20. Chapter 20

Amanda sat at a lunch table in the very corner of the cafeteria staring at her ring while John was getting pops from the machine. She twisted her hand this way and that, making the jewel catch the light and smiling each time it sparkled.

She lifted her head when she heard the chair directly across from her being pulled out; finding Allison taking the seat. She groaned and laid her head in her hands, wishing the romantic stupor didn't have to end.

"John told me he was going to propose to you." She declared, breaking the ice forcefully. Amanda lifted her head and threw her hands in the air dramatically, signaling frustration.

"Of course he did!" she muttered under her breath. Allison threw her bag up on the table and shot Amanda a cold glare.

"I take it you said yes?" she asked, looking down at the ring. Amanda clenched her fist and nodded slowly.

"Obviously." Amanda muttered and opened her hand, tapping her fingers on the Formica table top agitatedly. Allison sat there staring at her in her creepy way with her black rimmed eyes and messy hair; Amanda was struggling to keep from launching herself over the table to strangle her.

She looked over and saw John still finagling with the pop machine; hoping against all hope he'd come back over before Allison said something to really set her off. She'd hoped at some point that they could become friends but now it was clear that Allison had no intention of letting go of her grip on John.

"Well congratulations I guess." She muttered icily, yanking Amanda out of her hopeful stupor.

"Is there something I'm missing here?" Amanda snarled, finally at the end of her rope with this girl who seemed to be involved in everything to do with John, "do you and him have a history? Or are you just delusion with your wishful thinking and now that I'm here you think you can take out your frustrations on me and play these mind games? Because if so you can knock it right the fuck off because John proposed to ME not you; get over it." Amanda all but shouted and stood, grabbing her backpack and slinging it over her shoulder. She walked away from the table past a shocked John and towards the door, stopping to stare down at a kid with a plate of nachos.

"_That_," she pointed at the plate, overwhelmed at its stench, "smells like something fucking died." She snarled at the kid and walked out much to everyone's surprise.

##

Amanda realized she had overreacted as she perused the aisles of the grocery store, deciding whether to buy chunky or smooth peanut butter. Her mother was with her so they could spend some time together since they no longer lived at the same residence.

"You've been under a lot of stress baby girl." Her mom explained away her outburst in the cafeteria after a few hours of gushing and screaming about her engagement. In all honestly Amanda was slightly nervous to face John again, unsure if her freak out had maybe changed his mind about the whole thing…

She really hoped it didn't.

"Yeah but I completely went off on her; I mean she's been a little weird about John but what I said was completely uncalled for." She admitted sheepishly. She finally grabbed the chunky peanut butter and smiled at the thought of eating it along with some celery like she used to as a kid.

"Well sometimes girl can be emotional…" her mom continued to explain. Amanda rolled her eyes and continued to push the cart, wondering what John ate and if she should buy some of the few things she knew he liked.

"I've never been _this_ emotional… it's weird." She confessed, eyeing the jar of pickles they'd stopped in front of in the next aisle over. Her mom grabbed a few cans of pickled beets and looked at her, exacerbated.

"Well you just got engaged, you're a tense ball of emotion honey; it's normal." Amanda shrugged and finally grabbed the pickles. Staring down at her ring as he mother contemplated a few other items, Amanda felt true fear at the thought that maybe John had changed his mind due to the scene she'd caused.

"Then I completely freaked out on this kid eating nachos simply because they smelled awful." She tried to distract herself, her mom shot her a confused look then went back to shopping.

"Well honey you're just stressed." She rubbed Amanda's shoulder comfortingly. Amanda wished she could be talking to Nana about this but shrugged it off.

They grabbed a few more things before Amanda had a sudden thought and excused herself to run to the personal care section and grab what she was thinking of; praying to god she didn't really need it.

##

Her previous flare up of unexpected emotion combined with her unusual sense of smell and overwhelming desire to eat raw peanut butter, which she'd hated all her life, had led her here; sitting on the bathroom counter biting her nail. John had called the diner and left a message with Barry telling him to tell her he'd be home later; he'd gone out with friends. Amanda was scared shitless that her outburst would change things between them but she had far more pressing matters on her mind.

It was eight pm and she hadn't even thought about making dinner; the only thing on her mind was the slim piece of plastic on the bathroom counter. She was cross-legged on its marble surface; simply staring down at the test, hoping against hope it wouldn't show what she was worried it would. She'd pulled out the round disk holding her pills and counted them; mortified to find she'd missed taking one when they moved.

"Maybe it was just some freak circumstance… maybe he had oysters on his nachos and they did actually stink… maybe my taste buds are changing and all of the sudden I like peanut butter… it's not that weird in fact, everything will turn out fine." She rambled to no one but herself as she stared down at that little window that eventually spit out its results.

Grabbing the directions she stared down and sat two god awful, horrifying, depressing lines…

She was pregnant.

**:) You know I love my cliffhangers. Let me know what you think! XOXO**


	21. Chapter 21

"God damnit!" Amanda screamed and hurled the pregnancy test out the bathroom door towards the wall by the bed where it hit and split into two pieces. Her hands dove into her hair and gripped it fiercely; her mind working a mile a minute.

'What the fuck am I going to do?!' she thought desperately, 'I'm only eighteen and now I'm fucking pregnant! Everyone's going to think I'm a whore not to mention John told me he in no way wants kids and the day he proposes I find out I'm pregnant!' she mentally screamed at herself. She felt like a complete idiot for forgetting to take her birth control but in her defense the move from New York City to here had been brutal; she hadn't had time to remember to take her pill then and completely neglected taking it at all since the move. She could hardly see how the fact that she'd lost her virginity to someone sans condom was her fault; it's not like she'd planned to get pregnant.

She slumped down on the bathroom floor dejectedly, feeling like shit. Her hand slowly fluttered to her belly and she looked down at its flat expanse; there was absolutely zero physical indication that she was in fact with child and that felt unfair, there should at least be one single thing that alerts you to the fact but now wasn't the time to make a barter with the higher power, it is what it is.

'What is John going to say?' was paramount in her mind. She was already terrified of how he was going to react to her outburst in the cafeteria earlier and now this… he was going to blow a goddamn blood vessel.

'I'm not ready to be a mom; I want it but I don't know how to do it.' She thought, still holding her belly. She didn't have the slightest clue how to be a parent; she'd had a terrible example and ideally she would have had a longer period of time to find her footing as an adult, find out who she was… but as it stood she was going to be a mom nine months from now. She was going to have a kid with someone who was even more uncertain about children than she was. What if she became a single parent? What if he left her right after hearing about it?

"John wouldn't do that…" she whispered to herself but she wasn't so sure; he'd been so mercurial about everything else, what's to say he won't just drop her, take the ring back and leave, never to step foot in her life again? What would she tell her kid?

Then she got angry thinking about raising a kid on her own.

"Well if he's going to do that then we'll make it," she whispered to her belly, knowing full well she looked like a lunatic but continued anyway for her own sake, "I'll be everything you need." She assured the baby who was no bigger than a speck of dust at this point.

She stood and walked out of the bathroom, gathering the pieces of the test in her hands and throwing them away, making sure to cover it with some pieces of paper so it couldn't be seen.

Then she stepped out of her apartment and knocked on the door directly beside hers. Nana answered a few seconds after the single knock.

"Hey Nana." Amanda greeted, tears falling from her eyes at seeing the woman who'd been like a proper mother to her for years.

"Baby what's wrong?" she immediately questioned and enveloped Amanda in her warm arms. Once she was fully within her embrace Amanda let the tears fall and sobbed pitifully into her shoulder.

"Nana…" she whispered, "I'm pregnant." Nana's gasp was audible. She tugged Amanda inside and closed the door quickly, holding Amanda tightly within her arms. She made 'hush' sounds and smoothed down Amanda's bleach blonde hair while she fell apart in her arms. Kissing the top of her head her arms constricted slightly to show her support.

"We'll get through this baby girl," She assured her. Amanda sobbed harder at this and pressed her face into Nana's shoulder, "you can live in Corrine's apartment permanently; she's not coming home from college when she's done anyway." She assured her of what both of them already knew.

"Thank you so much Nana…" she whispered. They held each other for a few more minutes until Amanda pulled away and wiped her tears from her face.

"What did the dad say?" Nana asked gently.

"I didn't tell John yet; I just found out and he's not home right now," she told her, "he just proposed today too." She showed Nana her ring.

"That's great baby!"

"Yeah but the last thing he wants is kids like… ever," she began hiccupping from her crying, "I don't know what he'll say Nana… I love him so much and I think he might leave when he finds out, then what'll I do? I'll be a single mom…" she whispered. Nana grabbed her shoulders and held them firmly.

"If he leaves then it's his loss. Let him leave. You're going to be a great mom and I'll help you whenever you need it; we'll tackle this together if he walks out okay?" Amanda nodded and thanked her for her assurance, feeling slightly more confident at having Nana backing her up.

##

Amanda sat on the sofa and watched the door worriedly, her heart was heavy with fear at what would transpire between them when he got home and she told him. She was fully prepared with an argument to present him with while at the same time she was ready if he wanted the ring back.

She felt like she was ready for anything…

Then he walked in.

The first thing she noticed was how gorgeous he looked, as always. Then she got sad thinking about how he was going to transform into an angry, raving lunatic in a few minutes. He closed the door behind him and smiled at Amanda who didn't smile back, too upset to even think of smiling.

"What's wrong?" he asked immediately, locking the door and rushing over to her.

"How are you?" she asked hoarsely. He ran his hands through his hair and took his jacket off, never looking away from her.

"Fine; I was just visiting with some friends," he explained and set his jacket on the sofa beside him, "gonna tell me why you've been crying?" he questioned curtly, now agitated with her silence.

She wiped a stray tear from her eye and sniffled; scared shitless at what he might say. She looked at him warily and took in his harsh, beautiful features, enjoying the way he looked before they were ruined forever. She wished this hadn't happened to her; her life had begun moving a hundred miles an hour since she met John, now she was used to it and didn't want it to ever end.

"I have to tell you something." she began cryptically, setting him on edge. It had concerned him from the get go that she'd been crying but now he was a tense ball of nerves.

"Okay?" he urged, clenching his fists in agitation. She took a deep shaky breath and looked at him hesitantly.

"I'm pregnant." She finally spat out hurriedly. John sat there staring at her, unable to form a coherent sentence; he was shocked beyond being angry, but his fury was not far behind his initial surprise.

"You're joking." He snarled harshly, turning his head to look down at the ground lest he frighten her.

"No I'm not," She assured him and reached over tentatively to place her hand on his knee to which he recoiled quickly; not wanting to be touched at all, "John I'm sorry, please don't push me away." She began begging.

"I told you specifically I don't want kids!" he shouted, looking back at her, his fury evident in his gaze, "you told me you were on birth control!" he continued, standing up angrily and shouting down at her. Amanda recoiled into the sofa and cried harder, understanding his anger at the situation.

"I am but I forgot to take my pill when we moved; it must have happened when we first had sex. John I'm so sorry…" she continued and reached towards him gently. He shoved her hands away and stormed towards the door, "wait John! Please don't leave!" she begged pitifully, hating the way she sounded.

But she hated the idea of losing him more.

"You fucking lied to me!" he turned and yelled at her when she stood and followed him, "What are we supposed to do Mandy?! What the fuck am _I _supposed to do? You're a fucking waitress and I'm a mechanic, we can't afford to have a kid! I don't want that kid!" he shouted and pointed towards her belly, making Amanda wince in a strange sort of automatic defense for the unborn child. He grabbed the door handle and twisted it savagely. Amanda's hands shot out and grabbed onto his left arm, tugging at him.

"John please, don't go…" she begged one final time before she shot her a look of disdain and walked out, slamming the door behind him and leaving her to fall to her knees and sob harder than she ever had before.


	22. Chapter 22

**You guys are the best! Tons of hugs and kisses to the people who've been with me since the beginning and the new comers! **

Amanda was jerked from her uncomfortable sleep with a BANG! She'd fallen asleep on the unmerciful sofa and now her neck ached from the awkward position she'd been laying in. After John had left she had sat on the ground for about half an hour just sobbing uncontrollably before she picked herself up and made her way to the sofa where she rested her head and immediately fell asleep only to be woken up by the door swinging open and hitting the wall beside it. She rubbed her sleep worn eyes and looked at the intruder; less concerned than was probably smart. John came sauntering in wobbly, the stench of liquor beating him to the doorway. His flannel was hanging off one arm and he held a bottle of Jack Daniels in his hand.

"Honey! I'm home!" he called out and laughed hysterically. Amanda felt a wave of overwhelming depression plague her at seeing him in this state; she felt like an idiot for letting him do this.

"John, what's going on?" she croaked out and stood sleepily, walking over to him. He took another deep swig from the bottle and wrapped his arm around her shoulders once she was close enough. He reeked of multiple kinds of liquor and it made Amanda want to vomit but she held it back. She walked him over to the counter where he set the bottle down and removed his flannel entirely. Looking down at her he smiled goofily and cupped her face in his hands.

"You are so fucking beautiful baby." he began and made to kiss her before she deflected it, worried she would vomit from the taste.

"John you're drunk." She told him, pushing his fingers away from her mouth where they'd wandered to. He chuckled slightly and kissed her cheek gently.

"And you're a liar." He retorted, smiling and tapping her nose with his index finger playfully. Amanda felt a pang of depression at this but shrugged it off, knowing better than to listen to what a drunk person was saying.

"Let's get you to bed." She tugged at his arm and tried to pull him to the bed but he stood his ground. He yanked his arm from her grasp and grabbed her hips, hoisting her atop the counter in an impressive display of strength given his current disposition. Once she was sitting on the marble surface of the counter he rubbed her legs up to her hips then touched her belly gently, staring at it like he was in awe.

"My baby is in here," he stated softly, rubbing her stomach with his thumbs, "a baby I don't want." He immediately squashed the sentimental moment Amanda had been building in her mind.

"Well you don't have to have it." She retorted venomously.

"What are you talking about?" he laughed and looked up at her goofily like she'd gone completely insane. She shoved his hands away, crossed her arms and looked down at him angrily; waking up to find him stumbling into her apartment drunk as a skunk had made her lose her temper quickly, there was no excuse for this.

"You obviously care more about drinking and avoiding responsibility so you don't have to be around to see our son or daughter; I'll take care of them and you can just go on your merry way out of my life." John looked taken aback by her sudden display of animosity; in his current state he wasn't really able to connect the dots about why she was upset, he just knew someone was attacking him and he had to defend himself.

"It's my child too!" he shouted, stepping back from her, "I want to be a part of their life!" he continued ranting angrily.

"Well you weren't acting like it! You just said you don't want the baby!" she pushed herself off the counter and went toe to toe with him despite the good ten plus inches he had on her. She glared up at him and jabbed her index finger against his chest roughly, "but if you want to be a proper father then I suggest you quit drinking and man the fuck up," she declared lowly, "because if you don't you'll never see this kid. You've been able to pull off your pissy bullshit with other people but not with me John; I won't let you." John stood there flabbergasted; no one had ever spoken to him like this, he didn't know how to respond to it.

"Um…" he slurred, having been yanked out of his drunken stupor minimally, "what?" he still wasn't able to form a coherent response to what she just said he was that shocked. Anyone else besides her would have rather walked on broken glass then to ever speak to John Bender that way and he wasn't sure he liked the fact that she had no problem saying those things to him.

"You heard me Bender; get over yourself and we can be a family," Amanda was at the end of her rope with his dysfunctional bullshit; he'd had a rough life and she understood that better than anybody but it didn't excuse him acting like that towards her, "you can keep up your tough guy image with everyone else but if you want to be a part of my life and this," She pointed at her belly, "child's life then fix your shit." She hated being this bitchy but she felt like all of it was stuff that needed to be said.

John stood there with his mouth hanging open; looking at her like she was an alien. Amanda crossed her arms once more and looked up at him, unwilling to budge even slightly. How was it that someone so small could have such a big, overwhelming presence in the room? John thought to himself. He looked her up and down, sizing her up as if he was preparing for a fight but he didn't do anything; he was too wasted to do anything about it so he growled, turned and slammed his fist against the fridge directly behind him and mad his way to the sofa, removing his shirt as he went. Amanda shut the lights off and walked to her bed, tucking herself into it as John was adjusting himself on the couch.

They laid there in complete silence for a good thirty minutes before John grunted and began, "Amanda?" he called out gruffly.

"Yeah?" she asked nicely, not one to belabor the point by being nasty on top of offending his façade like she'd just done.

"I love you." He ground out like it had been guilting him. Amanda felt a little bad at having been so mean to him but she hardened her resolve and told herself it was necessary; she loved him and she hated seeing him like this, a complete and utter mess.

"I love you too John; more than you know." She added that last part as a whisper. He grunted in acknowledgement and made himself comfortable. Amanda wished he was lying right next to her, she wanted his warmth and love surrounding her but this was probably best, for him to be at a distance.

##

Amanda awoke with a start; the shrill buzzing of her alarm clock pulling her from her deep sleep. She slammed her hand down on the obnoxious, offensive machine and turned over, looking at the sofa where John was laying. He was completely sprawled out; right leg and arm hanging over the edge of the couch while his left leg was bent and his left arm was over his face, blocking the bright sunlight streaming through the windows. Amanda sat up slowly and rubbed her eyes; she stood and walked to the kitchen to begin a pot of coffee when John grunted and awoke.

"Mandy?" he called out.

"I'm here." She assured him and pressed the 'on' button on the coffee machine. He sat up slowly and groaned in pain once he was sitting up straight.

"This couch is horrible, the sunlight is really fucking bright and I have a goddamn hangover." He grunted. Amanda smiled; happy to have her John back but nervous at the same time, there was no telling how he was going to act when in the right frame of mind.

"I know." She smiled and pulled the coffee pot off before it had finished brewing, quickly pouring a cup and replacing it. She walked over to him and handed him the old, batter coffee cup. He thanked her and took a sip slowly, gritting his teeth at the bitter taste of black coffee.

"It'll help." She assured him and sat down next to him.

He leaned back against the sofa and looked at her with bloodshot eyes; she smiled gently at him and reached over, placing her hand on his knee. He covered her hand with his and stared at her.

"I fucked up." He admitted tentatively.

"You were mad so you went to get some space." She tried to relay the fact that she understood why he left even though she felt like he was completely wrong there was no need to tell him that.

"I'm scared Mandy; I'm not ready to have a kid." She looked down, worried about what was coming next.

"So you're leaving?" she asked, tears forming in her eyes. They sat in silence for a few minutes, each second wearing on Amanda's nerves until she was close to breaking down from nervousness.

"No I'm not; we're in this together."

**:) let me know what your thoughts are but no getting comfortable, you all know that by now though :) XOXO**

**-Gabby**


	23. Chapter 23

**You guys are the absolute best!**

**Naughtiness ahead! Fair warning :)**

**I month later**

"What do you want on it?" John asked as he led her through the cafeteria line, grabbing a plate full of fries from under the warming lamp and placing them on their shared tray.

"Some chili," Amanda pointed and John dolloped a scoop of bean-less chili atop her fries, "some cheese, lettuce and a few pickles on the side." John smiled and complied. Ever since she'd become pregnant her appetite had increased considerably along with her cravings for the strangest things such as ice cream and tacos side by side. John grabbed a few more things as well as two Sunny-D's that Amanda was requesting adamantly despite her dislike of them before pregnancy. He walked them to an empty table in the corner of the room and sat the tray down, grabbing his bag of chips and Coca Cola off, leaving her with the rest of the food. Amanda hunkered down next to him and began digging in. A few weeks ago when her appetite had taken a turn for the worst she'd been embarrassed to eat so much weird food around him but when he made the offhand comment, "I like to see a girl that actually eats," she was a lost cause; nothing was off limits to her ravenous appetite. They were conversing non-chalantly and holding hands when Allison came up and abruptly pulled out the chair directly across from Amanda and took a seat.

"Hey Ally." John greeted her as if there was no issue. Amanda rolled her eyes at the girl's rude interruption and attempted to continue their conversation only for Allison to begin speaking at random.

"Prom is two weeks away." Amanda clenched her fist and looked at the girl who was looking intently at John.

"So?" John asked, his gaze flicking over to Claire who was seated all the way across the cafeteria giggling with her friends. This action was not lost on Amanda as well as the anger that was rolling of him in waves that were nearly tangible in their intensity.

"Are you going?" she asked, picking at her sandwich. Amanda felt all the more infuriated at the fact that they were conversing so comfortably like she wasn't even there.

"Hell no." he stated shortly. Amanda looked at him, slightly taken aback by his clipped, unmoving answer. She wasn't into the whole typical high school experience with dating, make-up and prom but she couldn't deny that a small part of her was giddy at the prospect of possibly going with John. All hope of him asking her was now completely and utterly squashed by his harsh declaration.

"Why not?" Amanda finally piped up; they looked at her like they'd forgotten she was there which only served to increase her anger but she held her tongue.

"It's fucking pointless and stupid, only rich snobs go for the fucking socializing aspect of it." He snarled, looking down at his soda like someone had just offended him personally and he was avoiding their gaze.

"I kind of wanted to go." Amanda whispered, picking at her fries dejectedly. She felt John's heated gaze on her, like he was trying to stare holes through her he was so angry.

"Well tough shit I guess." He ground out and stood, walking away and taking his soda with him. Amanda groaned and rubber her eyes, hating how every situation could do a complete 180 with him in a heartbeat. They'd been having a perfectly fine few weeks despite her unexpected pregnancy; he'd acted normal after their little blowout and had even talked about names with her. Everything was going well until these past five minutes with Allison.

"I'm sorry." Allison piped up and looked genuinely apologetic. Amanda removed her hand from her face and looked up at her.

"It's not your fault; he's so fucking mercurial it's not even funny." She laughed and began picking at her fries.

They sat in an awkward silence for the rest of lunch until they had five minutes left and John still hadn't shown back up. Amanda had completely depleted her fries as well as the pickles and both the bottles of Sunny-D by the time Allison finally piped up and spoke to her.

"So you want to go to prom?" she inquired.

"Well yeah I mean what girl doesn't?" Amanda answered, realizing this was the first conversation they'd had where she wasn't wanting to rip the girl's hair out. She looked up at Ally who was staring down at her soda dejectedly then looked across the cafeteria where Andrew was sitting with a bunch of his friends, "you know when Andrew came to talk to me about taking John back he told me he did it for you, that he only did it because it would make you happy to see John happy." Allison looked up, surprised.

"He said that?" she asked, Amanda nodded slowly.

"He said he would do anything for you," she looked back at the jock who was joking around with a bunch of his idiotic friends, occasionally glancing over at Allison, "he likes you a lot Allison. I don't know what happened that Saturday but I think you should at least talk to him; get him away from his meathead friends and have a real talk." Amanda offered and stood, grabbing her tray and walked to the trash while Allison followed like a lost puppy.

"What do I say?" She asked, hopeless.

"That's up to you but I would start with hi." Amanda smiled smarmily and walked off, leaving Allison there to stew over what just transpired.

##

Amanda knew immediately where to go.

Once the bells rang for class to start she made her way down the stairs to the old locker room. Shoving the door that was in desperate need of oil open she saw John sitting on one of the tables in the center of the room. She let the door close behind her and locked it once it was firmly in place.

"What?" John began acidly. Amanda dropped her bag and walked over to where he was seated with his legs dangling over the edge, feet on the ground and elbows on his knees. Amanda walked straight up to him and took his head between her hands, making him look up at her.

"I realize you've been under a lot of stress with this baby but you can't just flip out on me over something as stupid as prom; I'm sorry if it's a hot button of yours but I didn't know that so next thing I notice you're freaking out, it's not fair to me." She tried to sound as calm and rational as possible but the edge in her voice was all too noticeable. John immediately yanked his head out of her hands and glared up at her before shoving himself off the table to tower above her menacingly, using his height to his advantage.

"If you only came here to yell at me then leave." He snapped at her. Amanda put her hands on her hips and glared right back up at him.

"We've been having a great few weeks John, why are you ruining it by being like this?" she snarled up at him with as much venom as he was giving her in his tone.

"I tried to get away to cool down but you just showed right up to rub salt in the wound so how exactly am _I_ ruining anything?" he raised his eyebrows as if to make his point which only served to infuriate Amanda further but she bit her tongue lest she exacerbate the issue any further.

"Alright John," she pinched the bride of her nose in frustration, her mind working a mile a minute to try and come up with a constructive response, "I think you need to find a healthier outlet for your frustrations rather than freaking out and tearing off." He laughed shortly at this and glared down more maliciously at her than before.

"You want to know my 'healthier' solution that I had been using before that was working perfectly for me?" he bated her. Amanda moved her hand and looked up at him curiously, trying to be genuinely open to any solution.

"What John? What was your previous solution?" She asked. He didn't lay a single finger on her, just leaned forward and whispered against her ear.

"Either you sucking my dick or me fucking you into that wall over there would make me feel a whole lot better." Amanda's eyes widened at the unexpected turn the situation had taken. She should have known John's previous methods of dealing with anger would be something like this.

"So if you want to embrace a new tactic then just tell me which one you'd rather try first." He taunted her and pulled back, looking down at her heatedly.

"And you think this is healthier?" she smiled, joking.

"It's what I did before with whatever girl I was fucking at the time." He stated harshly, making Amanda cringe slightly at his tactless response.

"Ouch." She let him know his comment had hurt.

He reached out and grabbed her, pulling her close and kissing her head gently, "I'm just saying it made me happy and made the stress go away. Now I'm with you and only with you." He assured her, feeling shitty for letting that out. Amanda looked up at him, surveying the look in his eyes that said he was still upset.

"If it'll make you happy I'm game for anything." She told him honestly, somewhat eager to try it out. His eyes lit up just slightly before he angled his head and kissed her gently on the lips.

"Pick your poison." He smiled when they broke the kiss and looked at each other. Amanda felt a little unsure of herself at his complete confidence in the situation; it unnerved her to be so inexperienced in an area he seemed to be completely at ease in.

"I'd like to suck you." She said looking down, feeling like that was the easiest way of saying it. He grabbed her chin gently and yanked her head back up so she was once against looking at him.

"Tell me what you want exactly." He demanded hotly, making Amanda squirm at the implication in his voice. This was dark and dangerous territory she'd never dared tread into even in her wildest imagination; someone being completely commanding of her.

But deep down she felt completely liberated by it.

"I want…" it felt so dirty even just thinking it, "to suck your dick." John smiled widely at this, feeling accomplished that he'd gotten her to break through her small comfort zone. It had been too long that he'd gone without having complete control in the sexual situation; he wasn't used to sharing the power as much as he had with her.

"Then get to it." He commanded, hoping he wasn't taking it too far. He was reassured when Amanda fell to her knees and began making quick, desperate work of his pants. John laughed slightly at her enthusiasm but was cut off when her pants fell and she grabbed him immediately, tugging him harshly enough to wring a gasp of pleasure from him at the unexpected sensations she was forcing upon him. She continued stroking and palming him until he was rock hard and arching upward. He stopped her and grabbed her chin, angling her head upwards so he could look at her. His thumb flicked upward to touch her bottom lip gently.

"I thought we agreed on _this_." He tugged her bottom lip down gently so she'd get the point. She nodded and leaned forward despite his hand being there; her mouth wide open and her eyes zeroed in on his steel hard member. He pushed her back slightly so she stopped and looked up at him confusedly.

"Once we start we aren't stopping unless," he fished out his motorcycle keys from inside his pocket and dropped them in her left hand, "you drop these on the floor; then I'll know to let you pull away." Amanda nodded furiously; eager to get started. He finally removed his hand from her chin and let her go, leaving her to her own devices. Amanda treaded and little more slowly this time, the weight of the situation weighing heavily upon her. She was eye level with his cock and that intimidated her almost as much as having to perform with such little knowledge on how to do so successfully. She leaned forward slowly, her tongue flicking out and touching the hard, nearly purple head. John groaned immediately at the small sensations shooting through him at even the smallest touch from her tongue. Amanda continued forward until she had her lips around the head, its size was incredibly uncomfortable in her small mouth but she forced herself to get used to it quickly; it helped that he was groaning above her, encouraging her without really saying anything. She wanted to hear more sounds like that from him.

She closed her mouth tightly and began sucking on the bulbous head of his dick, making him shake and grunt at the piercing barbs of ecstasy she was creating within him. Much to her surprise his hand shot out and gripped the back of her head, forcing more of him into her mouth slowly. She panicked slightly at the lack of air but remembered the keys in her hand that she was able to drop at any moment and stop the situation entirely. She felt slightly more confident at the safety measure he had created so when he pushed himself into her a few more centimeters she calmed herself down and let him.

John was hardly able to control the urge to shove his dick into her mouth until she gagged, it felt that incredibly good. Her tongue was flicking around him, licking every inch of skin she could get to. Her mouth was clamped on airtight, creating a maddening suction. He finally eased up on his grip and let her do what she wanted without pressing himself into her any more. Amanda pulled back slowly until just his head was held within her mouth then dove back down, sucking him harshly as she went. John groaned loudly as she deep throated him repeatedly, sucking and licking with every downward stroke.

She learned quickly with very little instruction.

John was nearing the end of his rope when she pulled off entirely, leaving him standing ram rod straight with her spit glistening on him. She looked up at him and smiled.

"Why'd you stop?" he asked, imagining how good she would look if she was naked and covered in his cum. He immediately pushed that image from his mind lest he snap and release himself right there.

"I want to see the look on your face when you cum." She teased him and shoved his entire length back into her mouth, her eyes never leaving his as she sucked harshly. John grunted and fisted his hand in her hair, pulling at it until she moaned at the little sparks of pain. He groaned loudly when she pulled herself up and dove back down one final time, sucking and licking until his cock hardened just a little bit more and he came in her mouth. White hot flashes of ecstasy exploded behind his eyes at the intensity of his orgasm, his knuckles were white with how hard he was gripping her hair.

Amanda finally pulled back and released his sated cock from her mouth, looking up him amusedly. He reached forward and rubbed her jaw, massaging it gently.

"I'll give prom a try but only because I love you so much." He conceded and she smiled.

**As always please let me know what you think! XOXO!**


	24. Chapter 24

**Day of Prom**

"Are you ever going to show me your suit?" Amanda asked John, fishing a pickle out of the jar. He was lying in bed still waking up but smiling at her none-the-less; she'd been bugging him ever since he'd gotten a suit a week ago to see it but he hadn't relented much to her dismay. She was finally able to extract a spear and immediately placed it in her mouth, closing the door while her teeth still had a tight hold on it. She walked over to where he laid and sat beside him, throwing her arm over his waist so she could lean against him.

"Have you always liked those so much?" he asked, nodding towards the pickle in her mouth. She shook her head no.

"I think it's because I'm pregnant; I used to abhor peanut butter but now I love it." He smiled widely at this; showcasing his brilliantly straight, white teeth that never failed to make her weak in the knees.

"Well you're cute when you're pregnant." he muttered and grabbed her hand once she was finished with her last bite. Pulling it down he kissed each of her individual vinegary fingers until there was no juice left on them.

"I'm kind of surprised you're already comfortable joking about it." She confessed. She'd imagined that he'd be sour about it the whole time she was pregnant up until she had the baby… at that point her imagination had run out; she had no idea how he'd act, if he'd embrace the child or if he'd freak out and leave. She imagined that everything changed once the baby was in the real world and that made her worry.

"I'm getting used to the idea of being a dad." He smiled widely and dropped her hand, placing his on her belly awkwardly given their strange position. His thumbs idly stroked her through the fabric of her shirt causing her to smile at the tenderness of the action. He so rarely displayed such blatant affection it made her cautious.

"What are you thinking?" she asked him once the silence had drug on for longer than a few minutes, making her antsy.

"About names." He told her point blank, never looking away from her belly.

"Give me some ideas." She urged him on and turned so she could lean her back against his stomach so they formed a T on the bed, his hand immediately returning to her stomach as though that was where it was meant to be.

"For a boy?" he asked.

"Sure." She laughed, knowing full well he wanted a girl but was appeasing her desires for a boy by supply that name first.

"I was thinking Michael."

"Why that name?" she asked, curious if it bore any significance.

"It's my middle name." She looked at him; shocked at the fact that she hadn't found that out sooner.

"And for a girl?" she asked, trying to diffuse the awkwardness she was feeling at not knowing something so basic about him.

"Stephanie?" he supplied.

"That's a nice name, why'd you pick it?" she was hoping it wasn't something like Michael where she should have known about it before.

"It was my Grandma's name." Amanda smiled at this little tidbit of personal information; as long as she'd known him he'd had a huge wall up that she was working on slowly breaking down bit by bit. Every single day it felt like she was making more progress.

"What about you?" he countered, "what are some of your ideas?" he asked playfully, his hand moving from her stomach to her ribs, tickling just enough to make her giggle and squirm. She grabbed his hand and lifted it to her lips to place a gentle kiss on his knuckles.

"I was thinking if it were a boy," she gave him a look saying she wanted a boy, "Connor would be nice." He stuck his tongue out jokingly making an 'ick' sound that made her laugh.

"And for a girl? Which we ARE having by the way." He smiled widely.

"Sherrie." She offered.

"I like it." He agreed, giving her none of the flak he previously had for Connor. Amanda shifted onto her side so she could look at him; he was staring at the ceiling as though deep in thought. Amanda mused about how quickly and vastly her life had changed since she'd met him; she'd never have been able to envision

"I'm glad." She told him, unsure of what else to say that would more adequately convey the sheer bliss she was feeling with him at this moment. He lifted his head and looked down at her, smiling the heartbreaking way he did. He made to sit up which dislodged her from her comfortable position but once he was settled he reached out and grabbed her, pulling her close once again with his hand going to her stomach.

"I don't care what you want to name the baby; as long as I have both of you," he tapped her stomach to indicate he was including the baby, "I'll be happy."

##

Amanda had been in the bathroom for the past hour and a half doing her makeup, frustrating John to no end at the fact that she still wasn't ready. After their little liaison in the old locker room he'd felt like a piece of shit; he hadn't meant to seem like he was using her he was just frustrated and didn't know how to show it. Amanda, on the other hand, was in seventh heaven after what they'd done; she'd felt supremely naughty and liberated.

But even her excitement couldn't make him feel any better and even worse he didn't know how to say sorry about it.

Finally the bathroom door opened to reveal her. Her hair looked like she'd only applied a minimal amount of hairspray to give it volume, her makeup was also minimal but flawless with a small line of eyeliner underneath her eyes and a smattering of sparkles on the top, her lips were covered in sheer gloss. Her dress was long and flowing all the way to her feet that he'd assumed she had adorned with her three inch heels she'd joked would "make me almost as tall as you." The dress itself was a white base covered in black lace that was strapless and left her shoulders utterly kissable.

John stood when she'd approached him and Amanda mused that he looked incredibly handsome. He'd brushed his hair back from his face; his suit was a simple three piece that was entirely black including the silk shirt and tie. She was incredibly pleased that it complimented her dress despite them going shopping at different times without each other.

"You look…" John began, staring at her with his mouth partially hanging open, "fucking gorgeous." Amanda blushed at this un-John like comment.

"And you look pretty sexy yourself." She smiled and reached out to him, wrapping her arms around his waist. He pulled her close and kissed her gently on the nose, mindful of her lip gloss.

"I think you should know that I would have never done this before I'd met you." He confessed, his face inches from hers. She smiled widely up at him.

"Well thank you John." She told him sincerely. She really appreciated that he made an effort to do something that mattered a lot to her even though it didn't appeal to him.

"I love you so much Mandy." He kissed her cheek gently and held her close, showing her his rarely seen affectionate side that made her tingle all over with joy.

"I love you too John." She rested her head on his shoulder that she still wasn't tall enough to bypass. They held each other like that for a few minutes until he pulled away and fell to his knees, placing once hand on her dress clad stomach while the other grabbed her left hand and stroked her engagement ring. He kissed her belly through the fabric and rested his forehead against her.

"And I love you." He whispered to her belly.

**A little bit fluffier seeing as how the last chapter was dark. Let me know what you think! XOXO **


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